


An Unexpected Relation

by Empress_of_Plotbunnies, ENC95



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, F/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:55:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 30,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3154763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress_of_Plotbunnies/pseuds/Empress_of_Plotbunnies, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ENC95/pseuds/ENC95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Hydra took DNA from the Winter Soldier and produced a half clone. However before they could train the child, a deserted takes the child away and leaves the kid in an orphanage. This child grows up with the name Darcy Lewis. </p><p>Or</p><p>A prompt I found on tumblr and with permission wrote the fic you are about to read. I love comments so please write me a little note.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue-Birth

**Author's Note:**

> http://uruvielnumenesse.tumblr.com/ is one to whom this fic is inspired

Hydra lab June 5th 1991

“It's a girl.” Rumlow say's looking at the very naked baby that is very loud.

“Yes we're trying to find out were the mistake was made.” The doctor says in flat tone like he more annoyed than worried. A year of work has is about to go down the tube literally.

“Is...what's gonna happen to it,” a timid voice asks.

The doctor looks at the wailing infant “It will be terminated like all the other unwanted experiments.”

“What am I going to tell Pierce?”

“Tell him that the problem is being taken care and that we'll try again.”

He yells “Oh Shut-up that kid up!!”

The timid intern picks up the child that is now deathly quiet “I'll take care of it.”

Both of them look at the young man, he is young barely twenty-five and not even an ounce over 110 pounds. This face is plan with freckles on the all over. No muscle mass to speak of. But, his deep brown eyes are glued to the experiment.

“Good man,” Rumlow says leaving in huff.

The doctor groans “Give it a fatal dose of potassium then dump it in the river.”

“Yes..yes sir.”

Then the doctor leaves too leaving just the baby.

The intern Martin Tanner, looks at the baby in his arms “Don't look at me like that kid.” But she does she looks right at him with wide blue eyes. She's so innocent none of this was meant to happen. She is the product of years of research, she should have been born a perfect clone of the Asset.

“Someone made a mistake when genoming your gender.” He lays her back on the metal table.

Putting his hand on the bottle of potassium he takes it out of the cabinet then puts it back. Taking another bottle of clear liquid they'll kill for this.”

Taking a syringe out “I might have made some bad decisions kid but this isn't going to be one of them.”

The small person cry's as the needle goes into her body she cry's again but this time the cry is more like the sound of a kitten. He puts the child into the smallest trash bag leaving it open enough that air can get to the baby.

Making to his car without being questioned he looks at the baby the dose should keep it quiet for an hours. He drives on till the baby starts to make the kitten sounds again. At the first sound he stops the car not knowing what town or even what state he is in.

“Okay kid I hope you have a good life.” He looks at the kid “You need a name.”

Finding a old McDonald’s wrapper he takes a pen out of glove compartment “This all I got kid.”

**Willowdale Hospital June 6 th 1991**

“You sure there is no good video of the man?” Officer Sanchez asks his anger peaking though his police facade. He has a two year old daughter of his own the thought any baby being left in a trash bag sickens him.

Doctor Micheal Heart nods “I can't tell you if it was man or a woman just that they put the baby by the door and banged really loudly then left.”

“So there is a baby?”

“Yes, it's a girl. She's in the nursery now we found evidence of acetaminophen in her system.”

“Acetaminophen?”

“Tylenol, it wasn't enough to kill her it just knocked her out.” He reaches into his lab coat this was with her.

The officers rage boils as he reads the back of the wrapper:

_**My name is Darcy Lewis** _

 


	2. Now landing at the Avenger's Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Thunder god pulls Jane into a long deep kiss, I look around this place must cost a fortunate. But than again everything with Tony Stark does I heard that all the time when I was a little girl.   
> “Hey Tho...Whoa.”  
> “Hello gorgeous,” I say as the perfectly perfect figure of Steve Rogers enters the room. Not that Jane or Thor notice.  
> “How long can they keep this up?”  
> “Um...They should be taking a breath any time now.”  
> When they finally pull apart Jane is breathless but she still smiles that special smile the one that's just for him “Hi.”   
> “My Lady.”

“So, private planes are awesome. We need to get one.”

Jane laughs “Why did I bring you?”

“Someone has to order the pop-tarts when your god eats them all and who else will remind you to shower.” We just flew from London to New York on Tony Stark's private plane. Then from the plane to a helicopter to the Avengers tower where we'll be working and living.

“Okay but where would we get the money for a plane.” As the doors open to a common room with a bar.

“Jane.” I grip my duffel bag it has every piece of clothing I own and few personal items that I never travel without.

“Yeah.” She lets out a breath setting down her two suitcase.

“I know I never told you this but it is totally awesome it is too be your intern.” This is without a doubt the most wonderful place I've been.

“Ladies Welcome!” Thor booms in his loud voice that always makes me think of thunder.

The Thunder god pulls Jane into a long deep kiss, I look around this place must cost a fortunate. But than again everything with Tony Stark does I heard that all the time when I was a little girl.

“Hey Tho...Whoa.”

“Hello gorgeous,” I say as the perfectly perfect figure of Steve Rogers enters the room. Not that Jane or Thor notice.

“How long can they keep this up?”

“Um...They should be taking a breath any time now.”

When they finally pull apart Jane is breathless but she still smiles that special smile the one that's just for him “Hi.”

“My Lady.”

“Um...Hello?” Steve is kinda cute in an awkward sort of way that makes me smile.

Thor noticing that there are other in room looks to Steve “Steve Rogers may I introduce my Lady Jane Foster and her assistant the Lady Darcy Lewis.”

Steve shakes Jane's hand “Doctor Foster its an honor to meet you.”

He walks over to me “Its a pleasure to meet you too Thor's told me a lot about you two.”

“Ohh,” That's great I pull at the worn strap of my bag.

Steve looks at me funny, I can see the change in his face it's like he recognizes me. His face changes back to the gentleman I seen on posters and in history books.

“I'll show the you to your quarters,” Thor says picking up Jane's suitcases like they wight nothing. “Steve would you be kind enough to show Lady Darcy to her quarters?”

He still looking at me like he's trying to place me “Sure. Have we met before?”

“No I would remember meeting you.”

“Can I take your bag?”

“No, I got it.” This is getting weird but then again my boss does sleep with a god and I am about to get a tour of a billionaire’s Tower from the greatest soldier in history. Yeah words like _weird_ and _impossible_ shouldn't be in my vocabulary.

We make to the elevator with Steve giving side looks its getting creepy now “Would like a picture or something?”

“What?”

“You keep looking at me its flattering but creepy?”

He shallows “Sorry its just you remind me of someone I use to know.”

“Ex-girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Ex-boyfriend? Its okay I don't judge.”

His laughter is short “No, just a friend.”

Its the way he says it that tells me that this friend is dead “Oh.”

“So, do you have family around here?”

I shurg “I don't know maybe.” I tighten my grip if I could ever keep my mouth shut it would be now.

“Your an orphan?”

“Yeah, since the day I was born.” Come on Darcy Captain America doesn't want to hear your hard luck story.

“Sorry.” He does sound sorry they always do and never got why people said it. I guess it's just good manners like saying hi to a stranger or opening a door for a woman.

“Its fine,” I say thankful that elevator has stopped.

“Right this your floor...”

“Floor? I get a whole floor?”

“Yeah its over the top I know.”

“Isn't that the title of Tony Stark book?”

This time I get deep belly laugh and his small smile grows so that his face looks like a Jack-o-Lantern. “You know think that might be the working title.”

“I totally made Caption America laugh I might have to twit that.”

“Before you do whatever that is can I show you around?”

I chuckle “Sure.”

“This is your apartment living room TV Tony has every channel know to man.”

“Sweet,” By sweet I mean this is great bigger then any apartment I've ever had. I look at the couch it's so big and long.

Turning to the left is a modern kitchen “Its fully stocked of course but once or twice a week we all have dinner together.”

Taking me back through the living room down short hall “This the bathroom.” The knocks on the door.

My own bathroom great that means one to complain about long curly hair in the shower drain. Also it means I can a long hot bath Jane's Mother's house was fairly large but Eric, Ian, Thor, Jane, Jane's Mom, and me. It was hard on the hot water.

“And um this is your bedroom.” Steve opens the door.

“Oh yeah,” I set down my bag and walk right to the bed it's a California king softer than a cloud “Best job ever.”

“Okay, I'll just leave you to get settled in,” He hovers near the door “Pepper and Natasha organized a welcome dinner its a seven.”

“M'kay I'll be there.” Right after I get acquainted with these amazing sheets.

 


	3. Talking One on One with Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His hands feel warm hands on my arms “You don't have to tell me anything.”  
> “Thanks.”  
> He sighs “You know I've had worse dinners then that.”  
> “Really you've had dinner where everyone but was totally superhero or was just really smart?”  
> The silence reassures me “No but I've been to dinners were everyone but me had a weapon and that was back before I was Caption America.”  
> “Dinner in Brooklyn in 1940 yeah that does sound bad.”  
> The Thanksgiving after my Ma died my friend Bucky invited to thanksgiving at his house. It was bad I was getting dirty looks from all four of his sister's because I got the biggest piece of pumpkin pie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay now I have no beta so any grammar errors is on me I try to proof-read as best as I can. Love comments so if you have a question or an idea tell me

“Come on Darcy unpack then sleep,” I say to myself. Leaving the bed I circle the room it's big but not to big. The walls are deep shade of pine green that make me feel more at home I remember this huge pine tree that was in the yard of the orphanage I had grown-up in. It had a swing that I would sit in and ponder the great mysteries of life. There are places on the walls for photo's and my own personal decorations. The south wall is a giant window covered by a thick curtain opening them I see that I have a killer view of lower Manhattan.

Peeling myself away from the view I kneel at my bag its heavy so I leave it on the floor. First I take the few framed photo's, I have most my picture on my laptop, that's still in London. It along with the rest of Jane's equipment should be here Friday. Taking out various pieces of clothing I put them where they belong in the huge walk-in closet leggings and bra's in one draw. Pant's in another, hanging up tops, dresses, and skirts. The last thing I pull out is my tazer.

Once that's all put away I take the frames and set them on my bed, one is me at age ten sitting on the steps of the old Victorian house with Mrs. Roth the sign _**Willowdale Orphanage**_ above of. The other is my birth certificate, I call it that, really its the wrapper of a big mac that says my name is Darcy Lewis. The first one goes on the night table by the bed, the other goes under my bed.

“Oh god this bed is soft.”

“Is that a problem Miss. Lewis?” I sit up reaching for the tazer, before I left Ian modified it could cook a chicken.

“Who said that?”

“I did,” the British voice says from the ceiling.

Nodding I ask “Who are you?”

“I am Jarvis, I run the living quarters of the Tower and oversee all the security footage I work with Miss. Hill.”

Putting my weapon down “So, your a person?”

“No I am artificial intelligence unit, Mr. Stark made me years ago.”

“So you watch us?”

“Yes and no I watch some people 24/7 for security reasons but your threat level is low that I will only make note of when you leave or enter a room.”

He's being funny “That's cool. So if I wanted to watch TV?”

“I recommend several shows that you would like based on your personality profile. Would like to watch Son's of Archery?”

I consider it “Maybe later. I kinda need to get a shower before dinner.”

“Well, the shower is down the hall Miss. Potts left you welcome basket in there.”

“You aren't going to watch me are you?” Because that would really take me back to early collage days. And the time I used my first tazer.”

“No madam I have my own code of ethics.”

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As far as dinners go I have had many bad ones this one blows all the others out of the water. Never have I ever ate dinner were literately every person could kill me or send me to another planet. I count them: One god, one billionaire who moonlights as a hero, one super soldier, a man who turns green from watching Jerry Springer, one fiery woman who pays the bills, and last two just happen to be the greatest Shield agents, one who gets inside your head the other will shot you in the head with an arrow.

“So Jane how to do like the Tower?” Pepper asks, she very nice not how I thought she would be. I was thinking she would be cold like the way she looks in all magazine's, she's not if fact she reminds me of Mrs. Roth. Also she made me a kick-ass welcome basket I smell pretty good.

“Its great thank you for inviting us.”

She bumps my arm then nods to the commanding woman “Thank you I liked the basket.”

Then she smile that motherly smile “I'm glad.”

“So Darcy you went to Culver University your parent must be proud.” Natasha says it sweetly but I know she's using her Black widow get inside your head mind powers on me.

I look at my steak and take a sip of wine “I won't know I grow-up in an orphanage.”

“Your parents died?”

“Nat leave her alone.” It surprises me that Steve is the one to say something.

“It's fine I don't mind talking about it,” I do so I drink some more wine. “I don't know I was found abandoned at the Willowdale hospital.”

“I'm trying to get to know more about our new guest.”

“Go easy on her it is her first night,” Clint says.

This is about how I thought it would go Jane is in her own Thor world not noticing my roasting. Jane is the smartest person I know and really has good heart but she gets so super focused on one thing that the whole world just fades into the back round. Since she won't be helping I drain my glass not the best idea nor is it wise to refill the glass. With the wine loosing me up I tilt my steak over the baked potato letting the juice flavor it.

“That's an interesting choice of dressing.” Tony remarks.

“Its good you should try it.” Now it might be the alcohol but the sound of a dropping fork seems to echo the room.

“Steve are you unwell?” Thor ask his eye leaving Jane's face.

“No, its just...” He looks over at me with the creepy look that makes me drink more. Then he looks down and changes the subject. “So, Darcy how do like the Tower.”

And, now that second glass of wine is going come back to bite me “Its awesome I like the dude in the ceiling.”

Now Jane comes into the mix taking my wine glass “You're cut off.”

“Yes Mom,” I say feeling my whole head roll.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

After dinner I find myself back in my apartment a large glass of water in front of me I learned that the key to avoiding a bad hangover is to drink lots of water. Once Jane cut me off the conversations bubbled around me. I didn't talk much Bruce Banner tried to help me by asking me about my university professors. Sitting on my couch I try to place him into the Avengers mold. Of all of the Avengers he is the hardest to be afraid of, he was nothing like the Hulk. Thor is Thor all the time same talk same walk same hammer, Tony's personality is larger then life just like his red and gold suits. And, Clint seemed to be watching us all tracking us with his fierce eyes. Steve is every bit a gentleman but he still had that pulse of righteousness in him. Natasha is frightening anyone looking at her knew she wasn't a woman to mess with. But, Bruce is sweet if I didn't know I would doubt that the man could kill a house fly.

“Miss Lewis,” Jarvis says. “Captain Rogers is that the door.”

“Come in,” I call.

“I came to check on you.”

I smile “A true gentleman.” Its comes out more sarcastic then I want it to. “Sorry I can be a little bitchy when buzzed. You can sit if you want to.”

He smiles sitting down “Sorry about Natasha, she doesn't like to not know everything about everyone.”

This time I scoff “Then I might be a problem because I don't even know everything about me.”

“You don't like to talk about it.”

“No, not really.” Sitting up I start to rant “I mean who would like to talk about it. My parents left me at that hospital like I was nothing and everyone knew it.”

His hands feel warm hands on my arms “You don't have to tell me anything.”

“Thanks.”

He sighs “You know I've had worse dinners then that.”

“Really you've had dinner where everyone but was totally superhero or was just really smart?”

The silence reassures me “No but I've been to dinners were everyone but me had a weapon and that was back before I was Captain America.”

“Dinner in Brooklyn in 1940 yeah that does sound bad.”

The Thanksgiving after my Ma died my friend Bucky invited to thanksgiving at his house. It was bad I was getting dirty looks from all four of his sisters' because I got the biggest piece of pumpkin pie.”

That brings back memories “Remember the first time you got to sit at the adult table?”

“Yes. My Mom and I would go over to eat at the Barns' apartment to eat with them we always brought a dish. I was eleven and Bucky was twelve our first time at the big table.” He stops and laughs “Bucky had four sisters and the oldest stared at me from the kids table all through dinner, I had her spot. ”

“I was ten when I first got to sit a the big table this older boy was adopted so I get his seat. All the other kids were jealous because you got to have whip cream on your pie when you sat at the grow-up table. It sounds petty and childish but when your kid that means a lot you know.”

He laughs lightheartedly “I get it. That a cute story I'm surprised Jane didn't tell at dinner.”

“I've really told anyone that before.” Jane never asked and did not share this information this freely. There is just something about sitting here with Steve that makes me feel at ease. Even when I should be embarrassed that I am in my oversize t-shirt and shorts that say bite me. However, I am not it feels natural like this is a normal event like we do this all the time.

Steve asks the next question “What about the first time you went out alone on Halloween.”

I giggle “Now that was fun...I had this scary witch mask and I could do this laugh it was great. I scared this one kid, a bully that went to my school so bad he peed his pants. His name was Simon Wetstone after that everyone called him Simon Wet-pants."

“Bucky and I did something like one year. I had this old sheet and tied some clothesline wire on it making these giant puppets.”

“That sounds amazing did you scare lots of people?”

“We had just about every kid in Brooklyn hiding under their beds. They talked about it for rest of the year. Saying that if they ever found the guys that did it they would throw them naked into the Hudson River.”

 


	4. The Long Ride Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bucky your my friend...You've know me your whole life.”  
> “Your my mission.”  
> I hit the side of the boxcar with my metal arm splintering the wood. Breathing hard I repeat “My name is Sargent James Buchanan Barns 32557038, from Brooklyn New York.”

**Bucky's POV**

When I was little the best way to travel across the county was by train most people travel by plane now. I still like trains even if this is an empty boxcar the moonlight coming through the cracks. Its close I can feel it, opening the door I see it in the distance lights of New York City. This is where I was born, where I lived a long time ago but I was there.

Its been a long time since I saw this City, I avoided it for a year now not wanting my memories of it or any memory. That's how it was in beginning I didn't want to remember all people I killed. I didn't want to see myself all dressed in black blowing up buildings or walking way from fires that I set. My mind or what's left is like a series of dams, Steve was the one who broke that first one. It happen at random times over the year. A dam would burst and I would be flooded with memories. On and on it went I remember Natalia in red room, she made me feel again. We were both punished for that. It went all the way back to final dam, that one was the most painful. But, once it burst I knew who I was and who I am.

I am Bucky Barns and the Winter Soldier, he's the prisoner now. Now I'm in control and since this is my life I can decide what happens to it and what happens to my body I decided to go home. So, that's what I'm doing sitting on this train going toward the lights of New York.

Steve's there now living in the Avengers Tower in Manhattan a long way from Brooklyn. Letting out my breath I didn't know I was holding of all the people that knew Steve was the only one I didn't know how to place. I had enemy's, Hydra and the government of almost every country on earth. Steve is loyal to America I am an enemy of America.

“ _Bucky your my friend...You've know me your whole life.”_

“ _Your my mission.”_

I hit the side of the boxcar with my metal arm splintering the wood. Breathing hard I repeat “My name is Sargent James Buchanan Barns 32557038, from Brooklyn New York.”

Repeating the words over and over until my heart slows down being back in the city is fine. I'll have to work my way up to seeing Steve, the Solider doesn't like him and when he comes out bad things happen. The train slows as I enter the train yard jumping off I feel better just know I was back and with millions of people in the city I won't see Steve. 

 


	5. A New Day in New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi Mrs. Rogers,” I pull off the baseball hat. If I'm going to confess my sins to one person it would be to her. Neither Steve or myself could ever keep a secrete from her and I loved her like she was my own mother. “I'm sorry I tried to kill your son, I didn't want too. After I fell they took me and made me a weapon.” Taking the metal arm I touch her stone. I've done horrible things to so many people. They didn't do anything wrong...” I wipe my eyes. “You always knew how to make things right but how do I make this right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter isn't as long as the others and the POV jumps from Darcy to Steve to Bucky the next chapter will be from one POV. I love the comments box it tell me what you the reader are thinking it helps me to write a better story.

**Darcy POV**

I push the blanket off my body running my hands through my hair my fingers getting caught in tangles.

“Good Morning Miss Lewis.” Jarvis sounds chipper.

“Morning Jarvis,” I stand going over to the curtains pushing them back flooding the room with sunlight. “Do you sleep Jarvis?”

“I take a few hours each day to recalibrate.”

Watching the sun rise I smile “That sounds like sleep to me.”

“If may ask why are you not sleeping? It is quiet early.”

To be fair that is an excellent question the equipment isn't suppose to be here till tomorrow I could back to sleep but I am awake now. Going back to my bed I sit down on the pile of pillows blankets. Reaching for my cell phone looking at the time seven o'clock Jane isn't a morning person and with Thor I doubt she'll be up anytime soon.

“I was always up early its in my blood I guess.”

“Well, since you are awake may I ask if you want to the cleaning staff to come or would you prefer to do that yourself?”

“Does anyone ever say no to free cleaning?”

“Captain Rogers.”

“That doesn't surprise me.”

“And, Miss. Romanov.”

“Right all those spy secretes need to stay secrete.”

“Indeed Miss Lewis,” Jarvis says.

That's getting annoying “You can call me Darcy. As much as I would love to stay here in my pajamas all day I can't. What floor is this new lab on?”

“The 107th .”

I'll go check it out after breakfast. Going through my closet I pick a plain pair of black jeans and a green shirt with the word **Smash** on it. Lacing on my black boots my mind goes back to last night. Steve and I talked till midnight trading stories about growing up. I told him things I hadn't told anyone, not Jane or even Ian.

“No don't think about him just go make breakfast.” Having an Intern was fun then sleeping with him was good but once Jane said she was leaving I broke it off. Having a relationships are hard enough when you live in the same house I wasn't ready to have a relationship on another content. Eric offered to me a job as his assistant but I said I would stay with Jane. I promised her after Thor left and didn't come back. Then Eric went crazy I found her drunk crying, she isn't a happy drunk. She asked me if I was going to leave her too. Now I know what's like to have everyone who said they love leave. I said I would stay her intern for as long as she would have me.

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**Steve POV**

“All you did was talk?”

“Yeah, Sam. Why is it so hard believe?” I ask as we run down the trail in central Park.

Sam shrugs “Because she's smart and cute and what girl isn't into you?”

“Darcy no I mean she is good looking and smart,” I say. For most of my life I've had woman not be into me. Some were obvious about it other were sweet about it but the message was the same no thanks. “She is different I feel like I can tell her anything.” I told her stories about before I was Captain America and Bucky and my Mother.

“Just be careful with her.”

“Careful?”

“Well are we going to be staying or will we be going out looking for him right?”

That is the question. Sam and I looked for month finding bases abandoned files on the Asset, even old tapes of training. Mission logs from every war and every assassination that all the conspiracy theorist talked about. Natasha was right he is a ghost.

“No, I don't want to give up on him,” I say anger filling my voice.

Sam stops jogging “I'm not saying give-up, its just letting him come to us when he's ready he'll find you.”

I know Sam is right and Sam knows he's right “Come on let's just stay here for month and if you want to go looking for him at the beginning of September. Then we'll go.” He holds out his hand “Deal.”

“Deal.”

“Good now lets back to the Tower Tony said he was making me new wings.”

“So, that's way you want stay,” I joke starting to run backward.

“Hey when we going looking you'll have air support.”

Turning I take-off running at full speed yelling “On your left.”

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**Bucky POV**

I found my way back to my old apartment like I just left yesterday but seeing it a commended, a ruin not that it was a five star place when I lived here. Walking on I find myself in the graveyard of Sarah Rogers. Looking at the stone its the same as the last time I saw it. There flowers more then Steve could ever place but I know which are his. Sarah Rogers loved sunflowers the most.

“Hi Mrs. Rogers,” I pull off the baseball hat. If I'm going to confess my sins to one person it would be to her. Neither Steve or myself could ever keep a secrete from her and I loved her like she was my own mother. “I'm sorry I tried to kill your son, I didn't want too. After I fell they took me and made me a weapon.” Taking the metal arm I touch her stone. I've done horrible things to so many people. They didn't do anything wrong...” I wipe my eyes. “You always knew how to make things right but how do I make this right?” She doesn't answer of course all I get is the sound of cars, the subway and six million people.

The next grave I find is my sister Becky, “Loving mother, caring wife, sweet sister. Hey Beck I told you I come back. Sorry its been this long I never meant to be this late.” I was always late most because I saving Steve from some beating.

I put the hat back on hiding my arm in the jacket even when its August in New York.

 

 


	6. An Afternoon Walk in Central Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Right!” I say loudly then look around the hot-dog man is staring. Lowering my voice I go on “I know it sounds crazy a ton of woman throwing themselves at you.”  
> “And, must have a guy's line waiting for you to give them the time of day. But, you don't light my fire and I'm not your cup of tea.”  
> That's sweet of him to say “So, we're friends?”  
> “Sure do friends buy hot-dogs for each other.”  
> “They might on occasion.”  
> We walk over to the vendor “Two please."

“Oh...Hi.” I say to Steve as I enter the elevator the next morning. He's sweaty wearing running close.

“Hey Darcy your up early.”

I'm really not “Yeah Jane's equipment is here and I have to help set-up her lab that means making coffee she's not a morning person.”

He chuckles “Not many people are.”

“I am I love to watch the sun rise I have great view of it from my apartment, I use to watch them when we were in New Mexico it was beautiful.”

“Have you ever see the sun rise from the Brooklyn bridge?

I shake my head “No.”

“Its great I was thinking about going out early one morning and drawing it.”

“That's right your not just a superhero your an artist.”

“What floor Darcy?” Jarvis asks in his robotic yet British voice given that the doors have closed and neither of us have pressed a button.

“107 please.”

“Captain Rogers will you be going with the young woman?”

“Say yes so I don't have to be the heavy lifting.” It's a joke of course most the stuff is very light since Jane made herself or had it made for her special.

“Ah no,” He says with a tone of voice full of vileness. “I'm going to the 110 floor.”

“Okay,” I laugh off his distaste. “I guess we'll get Thor to do all the heavy lifting,” I say as we go down.

He grunts “Maybe I could come down to help after I've had a shower and some food.”

“Maybe.”

Stepping out I give him a mock salute “Captain.”

Jane's new lab is big most of the time all her equipment makes every space small but not this. Even with all the wooden boxes on top of each other there still lots of room. On stop of the box I find a crowbar. “You think with all hi-tech stuff around we'd have something a little better then a crowbar.”

“Are you talking to me Miss Lewis.”

“I guess you're the only ones here aren't we.”

The box I open is the coffee maker I swear Jane needs a gallon of stuff to be functional in the morning. The next box is the toaster, I'm not sure what makes them so appealing to Thor but we buy them in bulk.

By the time the coffee is ready Jane is entering the lab and I have set-up a couple of her computers. They're booting up now “I made coffee and pop-tarts.”

“Ah your are a great and wise apprentice,” Thor says eating the cheap pastry.

“How long have you been awake?” Jane asks her voice still heavy with sleep as she takes her first sip of coffee.

“About half an hour. How did you sleep did you even sleep?” I say smiling to myself.

“Yes, we slept.”

“Rather well actually Tony is a very gracious host with a fine palace.”

Jane goes red “Maybe you should send him a thank you card.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“That goes next to the particle decoder,” Jane says like any of us knows what that looks like. Thor looks at me.

“The boom boxes liking thing.” I say as the sound of the elevator makes me smile.

“What is this boxes of boom you speak of.”

Steve enters the lab his body tense “Hey Darcy, Doctor Foster.”

Jane nods to Thor “Captain Rogers Jane and I are more capable of finishing our work here. If you and Darcy would like go elsewhere.”

“How you like to have lunch with me?”

Does he think we're together together my heart races. I'll have to set him straight “Sure just let me get my tazer.”

Thor warns Steve “Have caution my friend it is a powerful weapon she carries.”

Steve takes me to Central Park it's great there are trees and street vendors, people running or riding bikes. We walk side by side not touching not talking.

“You do know we're friends right,” I say as gentle as I can.

“Yes.”

“You know I just want to be friends right?”

“Yeah I mean you are beautiful and all.” He pulls the baseball hat down to hide his own red face.

I blush too “You're handsome and very muscly...” How do I say this nicely “But, I really don't like you in that way.”

He breath out “I feel the same I don't know why but you don't do it there's no spark.”

“Right!” I say loudly then look around the hotdog man is staring. Lowering my voice I go on “I know it sounds crazy a ton of woman throwing themselves at you.”

“And, must have a guy's line waiting for you to give them the time of day. But, you don't light my fire and I'm not your cup of tea.”

That's sweet of him to say “So, we're friends?”

“Sure do friends buy hot dogs for each other.”

“They might on occasion.”

We walk over to the vendor “Two please.”

“Whatch'a want on the dog sweet thing?”

“Load it my man.”

He nods “And the pretty boy?”

“Put it all up there.”

“I like you's.”

Steve pay's the man and we sit on the grass by the lake “Hard to believe this is the city.”

“Not really, I can still hear traffic and people yelling all of it.” He says in a nonchalant shrug eating his food.

Taking a bit of my hot dog “That sounds cool and not cool is it like that all the time.”

He smiles “I have to focus to hear all that when we're talking like now I just hear us.”

“How come you don't like Jane's lab?” I didn't mean to be so forward about that but he was off in the lab.

Taking off the cap he stretches the back of his head “It's childish but the 107th was the name of Bucky's company. Ever since then I've just...its... one of those things you associate with a bad memory.”

“I know what you mean you don't want to remember so you avoid it I get it. Trust me I get it.”

Then he changes the subject “So Friday night any plans?”

“I don't know I might go to a club or something just get out of the tower see a movie maybe.”

“A club are you a good dancer.”

I nod biting my food “Yes what about you?”

“Never learned.”

I knock his shoulder “I could teach you.”

“Sorry I don't do the diggy or whatever you kids do today.”

That makes me laugh so hard I turn red “You know it's easy to forget your like 100 right?”

Rolling his eyes “Yeah I turned 96 last July.”

“The woman who ran the orphanage I grow up in she taught us how to dance and there this dance game in college that I had the high score two years in a row.”

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Cooking is in my opinion is easy weather it is because I have talent or because I've been doing it my whole life. Mrs. Roth was good at finding a place for everyone she cared for. I was no different she knew that I could get in trouble when left alone, I spent most of my early childhood near her. That meant my earliest memory was me sitting at the kitchen about watching Mrs. Roth cook. She would always be talking while she cook explaining how she was doing.

“Darcy?”

“Yeah Jarvis?” I was in the middle of making the dumplings.

“Miss. Romanov is at the door is at the door.”

“Tell her to come in.”

“How was your date?” She ask sweetly sitting at the table resting her head on her interlaced hands.

I keep my eyes on the dough “It was not a date we walked through Central Park and ate hotdogs. That's not a date”

“I'm worried?”

“Why?”

She cross her arm, I've seen what she can do with those arms “You tazed a god and fought hostile aliens.”

“Jane and Thor did most of the fighting I just hammered things in the ground.”

“Look he's a good man and a lots happen to him the past year.”

“Right crazy robots the world almost ending, I am aware of whats happen.”

She moves around the table to get close to me “Good because I'm his friend too so maybe we can all be friends.”

I nod “That sounds good.” It sounds terrifying this woman is gorgeous and deadly and will give me nightmares.

 


	7. Movie Night in the Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What time is it,” I ask slipping on my shoes taking my tazer because this is still New York.  
> “It is 3:47 am.”  
> Getting in the elevator I finally let out a loud groan that's been sitting in my chest “How could I be so stupid?” I ask hitting my head lightly against the elevator wall.  
> “You didn't have intercourse with Captain Rogers you simply shared a bed with him.”  
> Thank you Jarvis but I don't think anyone will believe that.” I leave through the back entrance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky will be entering the story in the next chapter and the story will pick-up

Its been almost a month since Jane and I came to the Tower we were all in the common room as Steve called it. A big open room with couches and chairs to watch the TV that's 103 inches. There is a kitchen just to the left of the room, Really this is the perfect place to just relax which is what I'm doing. Also the this common room is on the top floor of the tower its nothing but windows with the missile proof kind of glass.

I'm reading a book while enjoying a nice cup of coffee. Steve and Thor are having an arm wrestling match. No one is wining they look frozen in position. Natasha is doing yoga, Jane and Pepper are both on tablets Jane reviewing data while Pepper is reading reports about the California Tower. Clint and Sam are watching the history channel. Bruce has his head buried in a thick medical journal.

“Good morning people.” Tony say entering the room with a big smile on his face, it must be something really good or really bad.

“You look happy did you clone yourself,” I ask turning the page of my book.

Steve adds his labored voice “Two Tony's that is terrifying,”

“Who pays the bill's around here?”

I keep my mouth shut Steve, however, counters with “I have seventy years of back pay from the army plus a pension that's been gathering interest since 1944.”

“Anyway I'm here to announce a movie night Jarvis the wheel of power if you please.” Jarvis takes over the TV changing the history channel to a spinning wheel.

“What's that?” All the Avengers are there plus Pepper and Sam.

“Movie wheel,” Steve says still in the contest with Thor.

Natasha sits by me “Jarvis does is at random so we don't end up watching E.T. Nine time.”

“This is a no hate zone,” Tony says holding up his hand.

“We'll call it a draw.”

Steve looks at the wheel then at Thor “Its a draw.”

“Shall I spin the wheel now?”

Tony smiles “Spin away.”

The wheel goes round and round “Who won the last time?”

“Banner,”Natasha says “He picked he picked Happy Feet 2.”

He throws his hands up “Its a good movie no violence cute storyline.”

“It did,” I agree.

It slows down it goes from Tony to Clint to Pepper and it stops at Steve “Oh great black and white movies with Humphrey Bogart.”

“I promise no black and white movie.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Tony and Pepper are on the couch close together Pepper laughing at something Tony is saying. Natasha is sitting in a chair Clint is on the floor leaning against her. Bruce has chair of his own. Jane is curled into Thor's massive chest on a loveseat. Leaving Sam and I at one end of the couch with Steve between us.

We all have popcorn and candy I put cinnamon and chocolate milk duds on mine “You how weird you are right.”

“I am a product of my environment.” I say as Jarvis dims the lights.

The movie starts and I recognize the opening melody, Steve had chosen The Wizard of Oz. “I love this movie.”

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I did not mean to fall asleep one minute I was listening to the loin sing about courage the next was being placed on my bed.

“I love this job.”

He laughs “You didn't like the movie.”

Sitting up I sigh “I love the movie.” Looking at the picture of Mrs. Roth “It was my guardian's favorite.”

Steve picks-up the photograph “Aw you were a cute kid.”

“The woman is Tanya Roth she ran the orphanage...She's the closest thing to a Mom that I had.” I look her we didn't look alike I was taller then her by the time I was fifteen. She also had round face and a rosy color to her face compared to my own angular face and pale skin. Her hair was straight and a fine honey wheat color, my black mess always had a curl to it. Even her warm brown eyes were the opposite of my own pale blue eyes.

“What was she like?”

“Sweet very sweet and still is sweet she's still there taking care of other kids finding them homes. Or making them feel worth something when they don't find a home. But at the same tough. When she get mad you listen to her...Jane's a lot like her. You won't think she would strong when really she has the strongest character of any one I know. She told me I could be anything.”

“So, you never...” He stops. There are some questions that we just don't ask each other.

“I had a family that wanted me I even spent the night with them a couple times and they filed paper work. It was looking like I would have my tenth birthday with them. They had dog and I would have my own bedroom.” I hadn't talked about this in years but still I feel tears well in my eyes.

“I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked.” Steve says sitting on the bed wiping the tears away.

“It was winter I was going over to their house for a sleepover that day when we got the call. There was a gas leak and they died in their sleep.”

“Darcy I'm sorry,” He puts his strong arms around me and I cry some more. We don't move or speak but when the tears stop I feel tried in my bones.

He gets up to leave I don't want him to leave “Please don't go.”

I know I sound childish but I can't be alone right now I just can't “Okay.” The last thing I see are the pillows between us.

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**Willowdale Virginia 2000**

“ _Darcy it's 35 degrees out here put your coat on.” I know that, I don't care that its cold and I'll get sick._

“ _No!” I say my voice stuttering not moving from the swing. “Its not fair I was so close to having a family and now they were dead and I'm here a skinny little nobody.”_

“ _Dee,” Mrs. Roth puts the coat over my body. “You are not a nobody you are Darcy Lewis.”_

_I stay sitting on the swing my tears freezing “My own parents the ones who made me didn't even want me and now the only people who ever even showed an interest in me are dead.”_

“ _You'll find a family.”_

“ _When? I'll be ten soon and no one wants a someone my age and what happens when I turn thirteen?” By the time your thirteen if you don't a have a family you probably won't get one. People don't want teenagers or kids my age. They want a cute little kid that they can teach to ride a bike and go with on their fist day of school. Not me I passed my prime this was me chance._

_She takes a deep breath “You're right.”_

_Looking up at her for the first time “I am.”_

“ _You are and you're not a child now so I won't talk to like one. The chances of you getting adopted are low maybe even lower now.”_

“ _I knew it.” I put my head down my long hair shielding my face._

_Mrs. Roth pushes back hair “But that doesn't mean you won't ever have a family. You can grow-up and have kids of your own or make your own family.”_

“ _Yeah right the last people who wanted me are dead.”_

“ _Look at me Darcy Lewis.”_

_Turning my own pale blue eyes to her deep brown eyes she cups my face in her hands. “Right now I am your family you are mine. I love you and somewhere out there in big world there are people who will love you too. You just have find them or let them find you.” She hugs me tight “Now lets get inside before we turn into popsicles.”_

_`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````_

The next morning I wake up like every other morning expect its very early this time the sun isn't up and I'm not alone in this big bed. Steve is still here behind his pillow wall sleeping a genetically enhanced baby.

This is were I quietly getting out of bed I realizing that I'm still I'm jean clothes from yesterday. I need to get out of this tower “Jarvis?”

“Yes, Miss. Lewis.” He whispers back.

“What time is it,” I ask slipping on my shoes taking my tazer because this is still New York.

“It is 3:47 am.”

Getting in the elevator I finally let out a loud groan that's been sitting in my chest “How could I be so stupid?” I ask hitting my head lightly against the elevator wall.

“You didn't have intercourse with Captain Rogers you simply shared a bed with him.”

“Thank you Jarvis but I don't think anyone will believe that.” I leave through the back entrance

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy jerks her arm out the weapon in her hand making a cracking as the smell of burnt flesh fills the air.   
> “Get down,” I yell pushing her under the table.   
> The first bullet breaks the windows around us, I take the gun hidden on the waitress then flip the table. Darcy is breathing hard but not fast this isn't her first time being in danger.   
> “What now?”  
> “You stay here.”  
> “What no I can help you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late publishing but its here now and i think you'll like it. And, if you like it TELL ME.

Walking through Central Park alone at four am not my best call but I couldn't stay there so here I am walking. I was so wrapped up in my own world that when I sat down I failed to notice the man sleeping on bench.

He grunts causing me to stand up “Sorry.”

Again he grunts his shaggy black hair falling over his face “It's fine.”

Great I sleep with Captain America and sit on hobo I seem to be doing everything wrong “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” He pushes his hair black shoulder length hair away from his face. “You shouldn't be here it's dangerous.” Under the black stubble I see that his face is familiar I can't place it maybe I've seen him before when Steve and I come walking here.

“I have a tazer,” I hold up the weapon if you could call it that.

His eye narrow on it “Who are you?”

“Darcy Lewis, intern.”

His blue eyes search me from my shoes to my hair “You should go home Darcy Lewis.”

“I don't know but I...Have you ever done something to another person that you didn't mean to do.”

“You didn't kill this person did you.”

“No, would you like a cup of coffee?”

He looks around the deserted pathway “Sure.”

We walk out of the park back into the city streets that are slightly more alive a few people walking some cars. “I didn't kill this person?”

“I slept with him,” I say as my new friend opens the door to a 24 hour diner that I didn't even know was here.

“You had sex?”

“Not sex but I was crying and I asked him to stay and we slept together.” This feels good and since unlikely that I'll see this guy why not the only other person I could tell is Jane.

“Is he seeing someone?” He ask as we sit down in booth near the back.

“Kinda.” Of all the people in the tower she was the one I had the worst relationship with. I thought it was because I had no training or that I wasn't super smart. Then two week ago I saw it, she likes him. He likes her too I know it I see the way they look at each other.

“Then the person you should talk too is her not me.” But she can kill me, a hobo I found in the park is one thing but the Black Widow could kill with the salt shaker.

“Hello what can I get you two?” A waitress says in chipper tone.

“Coffee black,” We both say.

“Coming-up,” She says her heels the only sound in the room.

“I don't know about talking to her she scares me.”

His chuckle is a surprise to me “You don't look like the type to easily scare.”

“Thanks..umm. What's your name you know mine,” I say with a sly smile.

“James.”

“Two black coffee's,” The woman says setting the two mugs down.

Taking small thing of creamer from the basket on the table “Thank you James. I guess you're right.”

The door open's and a group of men all dressed in black suits with briefcases enter “What day is it?”

I look at my coffee “It's Sunday Wall Street is closed.”

“Then why are they here?”

Our waitress appears “Anything else?”

“ Ice,” I say.

“Okay,” She goes back her heels making the click sounds all heels make.

I look closely at the breaded man sitting across from me “You're...I know who you are.”

He nods “So do they.”

“It's about to get really violent isn't.” My hand going down to my tazer.

“Yes it is.”

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**Bucky POV**

Darcy's breathing is becoming shallow “Calm down.”

“Those bankers aren't bankers and our waitress isn't a waitress. No waitress wears heels especially one who works mornings.” She looks around at the room looking for a way out they're by the front door.

“What are we going to do?”

“Ice,” She sets the glass on the table. “Can I get either of you a menu?”

“No,” I say the soldier is taking over. “If you want to leave now would be the time.”

She gives a short dry laugh “You know I can't I do that you and your little friend are going to come with us.”

Balling my hands into fist “Let her go she's just a kid.”

“Oh no she is more then that your Doctor Jane Fosters intern aren't you? Who know the Tower and people who live there. Yes you can be very useful to us.”

She put her hand on Darcy's shoulder sending shivers down her body “You're really going to regert this.”

“I doubt that,”The woman says.

Darcy jerks her arm out the weapon in her hand making a cracking as the smell of burnt flesh fills the air.

“Get down,” I yell pushing her under the table.

The first bullet breaks the windows around us, I take the gun hidden on the waitress then flip the table. Darcy is breathing hard but not fast this isn't her first time being in danger.

“What now?”

“You stay here.”

“What no I can help you.”

I grit my teeth “Stay here if anyone but me comes use that weapon on them.” Rolling across the floor so that I'm behind the counter its give me a better range also it removes the girl from the line of fire.

They keep shooting at the girl, I shoot one of the agents “I'm hit.”

“He's over here.” One of them shouts it.

I get down as they shoot into the open kitchen I remove the clip ten bullets the standered Hydra weapon. There are eight agents I have nine bullets they have their weapons and extra clips.

“Charlie get the girl.” A commanding voice says in a whisper.

“Hell no.”

“That's an order,” He says.

I hear him curse again then stand I move to the end of the counter listening to him creep toward her. I'm in enough control to not leave her, that's what I would have done a year ago. Now I can't even think of leaving her here.

“DUUUUUUOOOO!”

The man falls next to the woman I hear Darcy whisper “Oh thank you Ian.”

“Ahhh,” I say as I feel a sharp pain in my right shoulder. On instinct I shoot at my attacker. He falls dead on the floor.

“Barns are you okay?” She yells her own voice is labored she's afraid anyone would but this fear doesn’t paralyzing her.

“I'm fine.” My own voice is hard the wound on my shoulder is bleeding. There are six of them left I have... eight bullets. I'm loosing to must blood I press my metal arm to the wound on my shoulder.

I hear glass shatter as a new shooter enters the room.

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**Steve POV**

I had Jarvis tract Darcy's phone to this diner I thought she would come back when she was ready. Then when reports of guns being fired were received by Jarvis who was tapped into the police system, which is illegal but right now I don't care. I crash through the glass shooting all agents, I don't kill them. The police will want them.

“Darcy!?”

She pops up from the behind a table her tazer and two agent are in front of her “Steve we need to get back to the Tower.”

“I know,” I say as she goes to the counter.

“No, you don't.”

Walking carefully over to her I see her pressing napkins into the back of a homeless man. I hear him breathing but the messy black hair cover his face “Tony call an EMT.”

“No,” She says her voice grave. “We can't do that.”

“Why?”

Gently she moves his hair “Bucky!”

“It surprised me too but we need to get him to a doctor that won't call Homeland Security.”

As soon as she says doctor he starts to shift “No, no, no.”

“Shhhhh,” She says. “It's a friend of mine, he won't hurt you I promise he'll help you.” Her voice is so tender not the light carefree voice that I know but still Darcy.

He groans “Bucky its me its Steve.”

“Steve.” He says it smiling just like he did in 1944.

I pull him up his metal arm around my shoulder “Tony get Thor here now.”

“By the time we get outside Thor is landing and crowed is gathering “Who is this?”

“A firend,” I say.

“Get him to Banner he been shot.”

“Of course but-”

“Now!” Darcy shouts sending the Asgard flying.

I turn to face “You are scary when your mad.”

She takes my hand pulling me into a run “Come on we have to get to the Tower.”

Pulling her into my arms “I can get us there faster.”

 


	9. Darcy Lewis the Blood Bank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy waits till they leave “Are you going to pretend to be sleep all day or just when Steve is here?” Its not just the question its her tone its not a fearful tone or even a questioning tone.  
> I open my eyes Darcy is sitting in metal chair close the metal table that I am laying on “Who did you know?”  
> “Your heart rate picked up when people sleep their hearts beat more slowly.”  
> “You're very smart I can see why Steve likes you.” I move to stand up but find that my right arm is heavier. Looking at the tube I see it connects me to Darcy.  
> She follows my eyes “That's right I am your blood bank.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so stuff starting to get real now.

“Darcy thank god,” Jane says pulling me into a tight hug.

“I'm fine how's he doing?”

Her eyes get so wide that I can barely see her irises “You are worried about him. Darcy you could have been killed.”

I scoff “Jane he saved my life he got shot because of me. Where is he?”

She shakes her head “In Banners medical bay.”

Steve must have gone there from the start “I can be in the lab today.” I say it over my shoulder going to the elevator. “Jarvis take me to Banner's medical bay.”

“I must warn you it is very dangerous down there.”

“Look I know you can see me do I look afraid.”

His voice sounds weary “No.”

Entering the medical lab I hear the loud crash of medical tools falling and Steve trying to calm the dazed Bucky Barns.

Bucky is thrashing more blood spilling onto the floor “Let me go.”

“Bucky stop you've been shot you need a doctor.” Steve says fighting him back onto the metal table.

“No.”

“BOTH OF YOU STOP NOW!” Bruce yells in loud hulk voice. Bucky sinks onto the metal table like scared child.

Bruce shallows no doubt fighting his own demon down “Now, Sergeant Barnes I am a doctor you are hurt. You need stitches and maybe even a blood transfusion do you understand that.”

He nods.

“Good Darcy you don't need to be here.”

“Yes, I do it's my fault he got shot and I know the basics of first aid.”

Banner considers “Get some gloves on. Steve are you staying?”

“Yes.” He says the words through his teeth while I put on a pair of latex gloves.

“Find a place to stand and stay there.”

“I'm here.”

“Get his shirt off.”Banner says gathering the tools from the floor.

I nod “James?”

He looks up at me his eyes wide with fear I try sound soft “You saved me right?”

He nods.

“Now its my turn. I know Bruce he won't hurt you I promise.”

“Okay,” His voice is low a whisper I only heard it because I was so close to him.

It makes me smile that I got him to speak “I need to get your shirt off.”

Being as gentle as I can pull his human arm out of the jacket finding that his whole body is covered in a thin layer of sweat. Then pull the t-shirt over his head its damp from blood and sweat but a least the bleeding has stopped. Taking my glove off I feel his forehead its on fire, his skin is pale too.

“Doctor.”

Bruce is on the other side of him checking his eyes “He's lost too much blood. Sergeant Barnes can you hear me.”

“Ummm,” The groan is weak this is bad.

“Steve what's his blood type?”

Steve looks up from floor “AB negative.”

Banner goes over to a small refrigerator “All I have is O positive.”

“I'm AB negative.”

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**Bucky POV**

The first thing that registers is the smell then the sound of my own heart beating it's loud. There are also people talking I know those voice one is Steve and the other is Darcy.

“You should have called me,” Steve sounds upset he likes this girl.

“I didn't know who he was until it was to late.” There is a pause and she comes back in an equally upset tone. “I needed to be away form you.”

“Why we could have talked about it...are you?”

“Ashamed that we slept together? No, I needed you and when I woke-up I got sacred but now I'm not.”

He breaths out a long breath “So what are now?”

Her voice is the gentle tone that she used before I passed out “We can still friends if that's what you want.”

“I do.”

“Good,” She pause again and a new voice enters the room.

“Steve can I talk to you?”

“Sure Doc.”

Darcy waits till they leave “Are you going to pretend to be sleep all day or just when Steve is here?” Its not just the question its her tone its not a fearful tone or even a questioning tone.

I open my eyes Darcy is sitting in metal chair close the metal table that I am laying on “Who did you know?”

“Your heart rate picked up when people sleep their hearts beat more slowly.”

“You're very smart I can see why Steve likes you.” I move to stand up but find that my right arm is heavier. Looking at the tube I see it connects me to Darcy.

She follows my eyes “That's right I am your blood bank.”

“Where's Steve?”

She smiles “Talking to Bruce, he's the doctor around here.”

Using my left arm I rub my eyes they feel heavy too “Did you drug me?”

“A mild sedative, Bruce did it when he put the IV in.”

I touch the spot were the needle meets skin “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine he just gave a local to numb my arm.”

“Why you?”

She there must be something in my tone about because she laughs “That's a nice question to ask your blood bank. We have the same blood type.”

“What now?” Would I be a prisoner here like when Hydra had me.

“Well, first off we need get this out,” She wiggles her left shaking the IV. “Then I guess you can go your own way or...”

“Or what?”

She bits her lower lip “You could stay I mean it's pretty dangerous out there.”

“I can get by on my own.”

Her smile this time reminds me of her gentle voice “Yeah but it's easier to get by when you have friends.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

**Steve POV**

“What going on Doc?”

“Well umm,”Banner has this look when he has really bad news but is trying to find the nicest why to say it. “You know what this is?” He holds up a glass slide with a blood sample on it.

“Blood?”

“Its Darcy's I took some to check it against Sergeant Barnes.”

“She said she has the same blood type as him.”

He sighs “Yeah, but I checked just to make sure her blood would work his blood might have attacked her's.”

“Did it?”

“No,” He rubs the bridge of his nose “In fact they are a match.”

“Is it okay for me to be confused right now?” Also I am getting annoyed I'm here when I should be talking Bucky.

“Okay,” He puts the slide in the microscope. “Look at it.”

I don't what I'm suppose to see it look like blood “Look Doc I really need for there to be a point soon.”

“Wait a minute,” He puts another slide in.

I look “Okay this is the same thing.”

“No I took that from Barnes.” He takes off his glasses “I would like to run more test but they have the exact same DNA.”

“That's impossible.”

“Is it? Jarvis bring up the Winter Soldier feed.”

I turn to face the computer screen “You're watching them?”

Jarvis answers “I am under orders from Mr. Stark I am to watch Sergeant Barnes 24/7.”

“Look at them.”

I do they are talking but I look at them closely. They both have the same dark hair and they're the same height. Jarvis zooms in on the face's, Bucky's has no fat. I can only guess when the last time he ate. Darcy has a little bit of fat not much it reminds of Bucky before he shipped out. But they do have the same face and the same eyes. I know that the eyes are the same they were thing about Darcy that noticed. The same pale blue eyes that I had grown-up with.

“You know Darcy told me that words like _Impossible_ and _Normal_ aren't in her vocabulary.” Just when I thought I had seen it all, being frozen for 66 years, old friends going back as Hydra assassins and robots trying to take over the world.

“Steve?”

“How did this happen?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know after what you just read you might have question so write a note and answer to the best of my ability.


	10. And Now I know Who I Am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Good,” The kettle whistles and I take a mug from the Cabinet, putting the tea bag into the mugs then adding hot water I set them on the table. “You want some milk or sugar.”  
> “I don't know.”  
> Then going back to the refrigerator and taking out the large chill pot “My old guardian always said that if you don't know then you should try everything until you do know.”  
> Again he try's to smile “This guardian sounds very smart.”  
> “She is,” I say transferring some the chili into a bowl.

“Do you like tea?” I ask as we enter my apartment the rest of the avengers plus Jane are probably having a meeting right now. While I am left to babysit James which is just fine with me.

He shrugs sitting at the kitchen table “I don't know.”

“Well this suppose to be good for calming people down.” Setting the tea bag on the counter. Filling the kettle I see my hands shake.

“Do I scare you?”

“No,” I say transferring the kettle to the stove. “I know I should be wetting my pants right now but I'm not. Its just that I thought that being here decrease the chance of me getting killed. ” This is crazier than me not sleeping with Steve its a good thing I still have the words _crazy_ and _weird_ in my vocabulary.

His lips shift into what looks like a smile “You are unusual.”

I laugh “You are you trying to pay me a compliment?”

Again he tries to smile but his face just can't seem to make it work “Yes.”

“Do you like chili I made some last night and we never did have breakfast.”

“That would be nice,” He say it like he's unsure of himself. Nothing like man I saw earlier. He was sure of himself knowing where to shoot and when to move but that was the soldier. The man in my kitchen is one I found in the park.

“Good,” The kettle whistles and I take a mug from the Cabinet, putting the tea bag into the mugs then adding hot water I set them on the table. “You want some milk or sugar.”

“I don't know.”

Then going back to the refrigerator and taking out the large chili pot “My old guardian always said that if you don't know then you should try everything until you do know.”

Again he try's to smile “This guardian sounds very smart.”

“She is,” I say transferring some the chili into a bowl.

“Where's Steve?”

“Somewhere in the building probably talking with the rest of the team.”

“Team?”

Putting the food in the microwave I turning to face him “The Avengers.”

He nods drinking the tea “I've heard of them.”

“Most people have.”

“Are an Avenger?”

I scoff “For someone who can't smile you know sure know how to joke. No, my boss is dating one of them and after the crazy robots tried to kill us he asked her to move here because...its the safest building on the planet.”

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

After eating the whole pot of chilli James and I both end up asleep him on the couch and me curled into lazy-boy chair the adrenaline rush that fueled us this far was gone. If I had to guess I would say that's why he didn't hear the door opening. He did however, hear the person closing the door.

Then there is the sound of a body being hurled against my coffee table I shoot up my tazer ready. Jarvis brings the lights up and I see Steve on what use to be my coffee table and Barnes has a knife to his throat.

“Bucky you know me.”

“Steve,” He says it softly.

They both stand looking at me still holding my tazer “Oh sorry.”

Steve's eyes shift from James to me “I have to talk to you both of you.”

“About what?”

“About where you come from,” He looking right at me. The way he says it I know that I don't want to hear the rest.

“I know where I come from if want to talk about something talk about getting a new table since you broke this one.”

“Where do you come from?”

I sit back in my chair “I was raised in an orphanage in Virginia.”

“She's not lying.” James puts his knife away.

“Why would I lie about that?” As far childhoods go I might not have the ideal one but if I would lie I just think of something much better then that.

“Darcy I have to tell you something and you're not going to like it.” He takes my hands which feels good.

“Am I going to hate you for telling this?” Its been a long day and its not even noon yet.

He smiles “I feel like I've know all my life and we are friends I know why now and Bucky I've know you since before I could walk.” James is still standing silent, watching us both.

Steve looks at him but his hands are still in mine “Twenty-five years ago Hydra took some of your DNA and they tried to make a clone of you.” He close his eyes I think he might start crying and if Captain America is crying then it must be really bad.

“Where they successful,” He asks his face is hard as stone now unreadable.

“Yes, but there was a problem someone somewhere made a mistake and the clone was genetically altered into a female.” There is a single tear rolling down his eye. “Darcy I'm sorry but your that clone.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“You know when I was little I use play this game with myself I would make-up a story about who my parents were and why didn't keep me.” I say pouring another glass whatever alcohol I'm drinking in the conman room bar. “Sometimes it was because they just didn't want me, other times it was that they did want but couldn't keep me. I would say that my grandparents took me from her.”

“This was the one thing you didn't think of.”

I look at the redhead sitting next to me as I slowly but surely get shitfaced “Being a Hydra reject no that was the one thing I never thought possible.”

She smirks “I thought that impossible wasn't in you vocabulary.”

“And I though I was a real person but I know I'm not so,” I drink.

“So, here you are drinking Tony's whiskey feeling sorry for yourself.”

The whiskey is making me bold “Why are you here talking to me you don't like me.”

“Steve's worried about you.”

“You like Steve, you like Steve,” I sing into the glass.

She take the glass “That is none of your business.”

Taking the bottle I start drinking straight from it “You're right its not I don't like Steve and he doesn't like me. I was just a mess-up copy of his best friend now he has that friend back and I'm back to being nothing.”

“That's not true.”

“Nothing,” I tighten my grip on the bottle then throw it across the room letting the glass shatter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised someone did cry and someone did break something.


	11. Drinking and Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day I might have a problem

**Bucky POV**

“Where have you been Bucky?”

“Around,” After Darcy stormed out Steve took me back to his apartment. It's more like our old apartment in Brooklyn.

He pours a glass of whiskey “I looked for you after you pulled me out of the water I looked.”

“I know but I...I didn't know who I was.” I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin sometimes. “I had find out what happen to me.”

“I could have helped you,” He hands me the glass.

The short laugh escapes my mouth “Little Stevie still trying to fix everything and save everyone.”

Steve laughs to “What did find out there.”

“I'm not the man that fell off that train in 1944.” His face fall into expression of Sorrow. “But I'm not the man shot you either.”

“Bucky you don't have to be anyone that you don't want to be.”

I drink the whole glass down “You know when I was first captured they put all this stuff inside me it felt like my body was on fire.”

“I'm sorry that happen to you.”

Breathing through my mouth “Its not your fault. After that I could never get warm I still can't. This helps.” I hold up the glass.

Steve pours more of the amber liquid in my glass “Can you get drunk?”

I shake my head “No, I tried.” The first time was in England while the others were drinking, laughing I was in the back of the bar drinking fire trying to remember what they did to me. Sitting here drinking with Steve I see that not much has changed in the last seventy years.

“Are you going to stay?”

“Darcy said I could stay but this isn't her place.” I killed people lots of people most of them I didn't even know. Howard Stark was one of the few people that I did know, he was my friend too but I killed him. Would his son even want me here? I ask myself swallowing alcohol.

“You can stay here with me,” His lips form a sly smile “We'll put the couch cushions on the floor.”

That would the best thing I've slept on “What about Darcy?”

“Darcy might look small but she's stronger than she looks.”

“She used her tazer on two of the agents,” She doesn't let fear stop her.

Steve refills my glass “Hydra made her from you. When I first saw I thought that she looked like Becky.”

Becky my little sister who was the devil when she wanted to be but could be so compassionate too “She act's like her too.”

“She acts like you,” Steve looks at his glass

“I guess we have a new mission now.”

“Find out how they made her.”

“Yep, we'll look at the files tomorrow.” He looks like he want to say something.

“What?”

“You smell bad Buck.”

“Its been awhile.”

Steve nods “I've got some stuff you can borrow.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

The shower does help, the hot water is very good as someone whose spent years having cold showers hot is better. Washing off the smell of the day it makes me feel more...more like a person and less like a thing. Steve left a pile of clothes pant, socks, and I dark short sleeve t-shirt. Over the last year I had tried to be more human. To ask for something rather then take what I was given blindly. Looking at the metal I want it covered Steve would give me a long sleeve shirt.

“Hey Steve.”

“Oh my god,” The woman is unknown to me. She is short there is man by her side that is standing head and shoulders above her. Her eyes are traveling up and down my left arm stopping where metal meets flesh. They all are staring the woman, her massive man, and even Steve.

“Um I was going to ask for a different shirt.”

My timid request registers with Steve “Sure thing Buck.” He leaves me in the room with the two unknown tar- people. People are not targets they are just people.

The woman blinks her wide brown eye leaving my arm to look at my face “I'm Jane Foster.”

“Darcy's boss.”

“Her friend,” She says in a polite but cool tone.

The man has a deep voice that makes me think of thunder “I am Thor son of Odin, prince of Asgard protector of the nine realms.”

“You're an Avenger.”

“That too.”

“Well it was nice to meet to but we have to go.” She leaves quickly Thor at her heel looking more like a attack dog than a prince.

Steve returns with the shirt “Here.”

“Thank you.” I pull it over my head. He just nods watching me a curious look on his face. “Ask if you want too?”

“Did you loose the whole arm?”

I put two fingers on the metal elbow “This is where my arm ended after the fall. They took the rest.”

“You want to sit down.”

“I rather stand.”

“Okay,” He nods “Did it hurt?”

“At first it hurt a lot,” I look at my shoulder. “But the more they took the less I felt.”

He sits putting his head in his hands “I'm sorry Bucky I should have looked for you or gone back. I could have found your trail and...”

His words should mean something but they don't he didn't do this to me why is he sorry? There is something that I should say back “It isn't your fault.”

“It is,” He shouts then in a lower voice “You should have never been there.”

“You're wrong it was my choice.” It was they said after Steve rescued me. They told me I could go home but I stayed we all did. “That woman what did she want?”

“Darcy got drunk and she wanted me to talk to her.”

“Let's talk to her then.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“Darcy?” Steve says loudly but she doesn't move from her bed or even make a sound. I hear her heart beating.

Looking around the room I see sketches of the city done by Steve hanging on the wall. Her favorite is hanging in a frame Steve had drawn her leaning on the a bridge just as the sun is come up, her hair blowing in the wind.

“Whose this,” I ask looking at the frame photograph of a young Darcy.

“The orphanage were Darcy grow-up that's the woman who runs the place.”

“Darcy wake-up?”

She groans “Go away.”

“Not going to happen,” Steve says in a soft tone.

She pulls the blanket over her head “You have your best friend you don't need a stupid clone reject.”

“You aren't a stupid clone reject you're my friend too.”

Her hand comes out to take the photograph her voice is a low whine like a kitten “Please leave.”

Steve's lost her but she won't cry til we leave “Come on lets go.”

We leave the room but as soon as the door closes Steve sits on the floor “She needs help, she won't listen to us or Jane.”

“What now?” I know killing and hiding people I'm not so good with yet. Talking Steve and Darcy today its the most I've said to anyone is six months.

“She won't talk to me or Jane we need help.”

“Who?”

“Her Mother.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

**Steve POV**

I got the number from Darcy's file the line rings “Hello you have called the Willowdale Bed and Breakfast.” The voice is young and I hear more kids giggling in the back round. Then I there is the sound of heavy steps.

“Micheal what are doing?”

“Answering the phone,” He sounds innocent.

The woman laughs “What did I say about you and the phone?”

He answers in a defeated tone “I'm not allowed to use it unless its life or death.”

“Very good can you guess what I'm going to say now?”

“Go to my room and stay there till dinner.”

“Very good now march,” She says sternly.

I can defiantly see this woman raising Darcy “Hello?”

“Sorry about that sir. How can I help you?”

“I'm calling about Darcy?”

Her voice changes “Is she okay? “Did something happen to her?” If that isn't the voice or question of a worried parent I don't know what is.

“Well physically yes but not so much on the mental side.”

“Who is this?”

“I'm Steve Rogers.”

The phone drops she curse then picks it up “Sorry but if this a prank?”

“No ma'am I am Steve Rogers and you are Tanya Roth. You run the orphanage in Willowdale Virginia where Darcy Lewis lived.”

“Okay what can I do for you Captain Rogers?”

I hope this is the right thing “We found out some information about Darcy's origins and she isn't taking it very well.”

“Oh god how is she?”

“She got drunk and now she's crying.”

I hear her move the phone away so I don't hear her say “Oh Baby-girl.” She moves the phone back “Okay do you need me to come to New York?”

“If you can Ma'am this sensitive information not to be given over the phone .”

“I can I have a partner who can watch the children. I'll be there tomorrow afternoon.”

The line goes dead “Good because I have no idea how to fix this.”

 


	12. Mom's Homemade Hbo Stew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What if they look at me differently?” I ask wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.  
> She laughs “What if the sky turns green and the moon changes color? You'll only know if you talk to them. Remember when you were nine?”  
> I laugh and more tears fall I guess I'm as strong as I thought “You said that somewhere in the big world there would be people who would love me.”  
> She puts her arm around me “You just have find them or let them find you. Steve found you and from what I was told you also found someone too someone very important to Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready to meet the woman who gave us the great Darcy Lewis.

“Darcy get up!”

I pull the cover down just enough to let my head peak out from my cocoon of blankets. Her hair has more gray in it and there are a few more wrinkles on her skin but its her the same woman I had grown up with.

“Steve called you?”

She crosses her arms “He is worried and I can see why you look like shit.”

“Thank you so much why are you here?” I ask pulling the blankets over my head again.

Mrs. Roth pulls them all off my bed I sit-up “To help you get your shit together now sit up.”

“My shit is fine,” I tell her sitting up.

“Really?”

“Did he tell you how I got here” I pause to take a breath determined not to cry “How I was made?”

“He did.”

“Then you know I'm not a real person.”

She sits on the bed looks at my ratty unwashed hair pulls it “Hey.”

“Oh did that hurt?”

Quickly I pull my hair into a messy bun “Yeah.”

She takes my hand her thumb rubbing the top of hand it calms me down “Does this feel good?”

“Yes,” I say in an icy tone.

“You feel pain and pleasure. I bet you're feeling angry, worthless, hateful, and sad.”

“So?”

“So if only a real person can feel all these thing. The circumstances of your birth do not define who you are unless you let it. You where made by an evil organization that is a fact and you can't change that.”

I look down at my hands trying not to cry “What if I turn out bad?”

Pulling me into a hug she whispers “You won't I didn't raise you that way and look at all the good you've done.”

“What if they look at me differently?” I ask wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

She laughs “What if the sky turns green and the moon changes color? You'll only know if you talk to them. Remember when you were nine?”

I laugh and more tears fall I guess I'm as strong as I thought “You said that somewhere in the big world there would be people who would love me.”

She puts her arm around me “You just have find them or let them find you. Steve found you and from what I was told you also found someone too someone very important to Steve.”

“You met him?”

“I had three older brothers and how more boys have been in my care I think I know a Howling Commando when I see one.” She breaths a long breath “But he's seen and done of very bad things I can tell that much.”

I nod “You always could read people.”

She stands-up and I follow her action “Do you know what I'm going to say?”

“Take a shower?”

“Very good and while your doing that I'll make some lunch.”

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Of course she was right I don't know what it is but taking a hot shower always seems to help when you feel depressed. I get out then put on clean clothes and I do better not a hundred percent but better.

Following the smell I find her standing at my stove “Hobo stew?”

She doesn't turn but I can see that she is smiling “Are going to stare at me or are you going to get some bowls?”

“How many?”

“Four I invited some guest.”

I play along “Bet I can guess who?”

“Bet you can.” She dishes out the stew into the bowls.

“Captain Rogers and Sargent Barnes are at the door.”

“Let them in,” Mrs. Roth says.

I really really don't want to do this but can you say no to the woman who raised you? Guess not since I am walking to the door painting a smile on my face opening the door there they are. Steve looking clean cut as always but James looks much better. His dark hair washed and he shaved so that I can see his face. Look at him in his dark jeans and long sleeve shirt I could see myself in him.

“Hi.”

“Hey Darcy,” Steve says a weird little smile on his face.

“Hello,” James says again I can him trying to smile but his face just can't do it yet.

Tanya doesn't seem to be phased by the awkward encounter or much we look alike “Are you going to stand there all day?”

“Remember that first night we all had dinner together?”

Steve nods “Is this going to be worse?”

“I think so.” No, I know it's going to be much worse.

We all sit down to eat and true to form we all concentrate on our stew not saying one word to each other. And I'm sure that we would all to talk but Steve is worried about what to say while I am just trying to wrap my head around how I am the clone of the man sitting across from me. James is just eating his soup snicking glaces at Steve and me.

“So, how's the stew I don't think I used enough broth.”

“Its very nice just like when I was little.”

“What is it,” Steve asks.

She smiles “Hobo stew, it's a vegetable soup made with chicken broth.”

“This was the go to meal when times were hard I must had eaten gallons of it over the years.” Meat was and still is expensive growing up we mostly ate chicken, some pork, and if it was a special occasion beef.

“It's very good,” James says.

“Thank you would you like some more?”

They both say it together “No ma'am.”

“Well,” She crossed her arms. That is the move one that she has used to get kids and now two very deadly super-soldiers to talk. “What are your intentions with my Darcy?”

“Tanya!”

Steve speaks “Um...Well I think our first move is find out who left Darcy at that hospital and why.”

“That's very nice but what are you feelings for her.”

“She's our friend.” James speaks which, surprises me and Steve but not Tanya. She looks please like she knew that he would be the one to answer.

“Good then I can count on you, both of you to be perfect gentleman and look out for her well being.”

They both nod I've seen Jane do this before with Thor and Pepper does this to Tony all the time. The look that's gets them to agree I no matter what. Its a woman power I could do it to sometimes I haven't reach that master level yet.

“And I can trust that neither of you will lie to her right?”

“Yes ma'am you have our word,” Steve says.

She smiles petting both their arm Steve's human arm and James metal arm “Good, now who wants brownies I made them myself.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“You know they fought Nazi's and each other and I think they are afraid of you,” I say walking her the train.

“It's good too know I still got it,” She takes my hand.

I laugh “Trust me you do.” I look at the train “Are you sure you want to take the train Tony offered to fly you back.”

“I like trains and its not like I won't have a guard.” She looks at Clint waving slightly at him. Natasha had volunteered Clint to ride down back with her and to stay a while in case anyone suspicious came around. “A very cute guard. Is everyone guy in that building hot?”

“I thought you had a man?”

“I'm faithful not blind.”

We both laugh I smile just because in this moment I feel good about myself and I know that I might soon. “Tell him I said Hi.”

“I will,” She looks at her ticket. “You know you're welcome to come back anytime you want. And if you wanted to bring a friend,” she nods to Steve and James both of them wearing baseball caps to cover their faces. “Or two that would be just fine.”

“I will.”

“Good because they need you just as much as you need them.”

I hug her whispering into her ear “Thanks for coming Mom.”

She puts her hand on my face and says with tears in her eyes “My beautiful daughter.”

 


	13. Setting Some Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sitting down I let out the breath that I didn't know I was holding “So we need to set a few ground rules.”  
> “Rules?” James ask his confused tone matching Steve's equally confused face.   
> I nod “Yes, we are all going set some rules. Each of us will suggest a rule if we all agree then its set if we don't agree we'll rework it til it does. We'll have to agree on a rule and these rules will be subject to change. Deal?”  
> James nods “That would be acceptable.”  
> “Okay what's the first rule,” Steve asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the wait. Comment if you want ask questions i love questions.

That night I can't sleep I try to sleep I really do I lay in my bed counting sheep till I reach 938. By now I know that I won't be sleeping so I get up not wanting to be here but also not ready to leave the Tower alone. So, it makes sense that end up in the kitchen just off the side of the conman room.

I was making a cup of tea when I heard the footsteps turning I see him “Hi.”

“Hello,” He's says in an even tone.

He's not wearing a shirt so that I can were his left shoulder was is now all metal just like his arm. I'd seen it before when he was bleeding and more worried about him dieing I didn't look to hard at it. Now I'm opening staring at it.

“Sorry,” I turn back to the stove. “I..um...I can't sleep.”

“Nightmares?”

“No, I never fell asleep but if I did I'm sure I'd have a nightmare or two. You?”

“I think it was a memory something about a man in a car and a woman in a pink dress.” He shakes his head “Sleep is a difficult.”

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Yes please.”

I smile pouring the tea into mugs “You're very polite you know that.”

“That would be original programing from before.” He flexes his metal arm taking the cup.

We stay like that I look at my tea while he looks at me I didn't think he would say anything but he does. “You look like my sisters.”

Blushing keep my eyes on the amber color tea.

“Was that the wrong thing to say?”

“Nonono,” I say quickly. “It's just I never really look like anyone before.”

“Oh, well you do and Steve says you act like me too.”

“How does this work? I mean I was made from you what does that make me your daughter or your sister or...” Or am just a girl that looks like you.

My hands are resting on either side of my cup and slowly his metal arm comes across the table his metal fingers interlace with my own. His voice is low “Right now I could use a friend. Someone who isn't afraid of me.”

I put my other hand over our connected hands “I'm not afraid but there's a lot I don't understand.”

He laughs and its a very natural sound “I don't understand much either.”

“We'll have to figure it out but not tonight.”

“No,” He shakes his head. “Will you be here tomorrow?”

“Yeah Jane has a lab on the 107th floor.”

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I never thought that analyzing data would be therapeutic, but its good to get my mind off of everything that's happen for a couple for a few hours a least. Both Steve and James avoided the lab. Of course the chances of seeing them anywhere else was so high that I lingered in the lab.

“Darcy?” All she has to do is say my name I know what the question is. _“Are you going to hide out here all night?”_

“I know I have to leave sometime.”

Jane puts her hand on my shoulder “Just try to take it slow start out with something simple.”

“Simple?” There is nothing about this whole situation that is any simple.

“You need to set some boundaries, what do you want to tell them, when can they see you and what do you want to know.”

If these are the simple things then what is complicated?

They are waiting for me at there at my door both of them.. _shit_. I curse to myself but I'm sure they can hear my heart beating fast. They both move letting me unlock the door to my apartment. With my back still turned to them I breath out I guess we'll be setting boundaries today. “Hi.”

“Hello,” They both say together.

“Um...Come in,” I say opening the door still not facing them.

They enter the room making no noise at all but one of them shuts the door letting me know that my limited time to think of what to say is over. I go over to the sink getting myself a glass of water buy myself a few more seconds.

I get each of them a glass they both say “Thank you.” But, they don't say it together this time which makes me feel better.

Sitting down I let out the breath that I didn't know I was holding “So we need to set a few ground rules.”

“Rules?” James ask his confused tone matching Steve's equally confused face.

I nod “Yes, we are all going set some rules. Each of us will suggest a rule if we all agree then its set if we don't agree we'll rework it til it does. We'll have to agree on a rule and these rules will be subject to change. Deal?”

James nods “That would be acceptable.”

“Okay what's the first rule,” Steve asks.

“This rule is just for me and you both have to follow there are things that I want to know about myself why and how I was made but what my propose would have been that is something I don't want know ever.”

“I can live with that,” Steve is a protector he wouldn't willingly hurt me.

James, however, is thinking about my request but say after a brief silence says “Agreed.”

“Okay do either of you have a rule?”

Steve speaks “Darcy I respect you but right now I don't want you to leave the tower alone. My rule is that you have to have someone capable of fighting with you when you leave tower at all times.”

This time it's James and I that speak in unison “No.”

“Bucky she needs to be protected.”

“No, she doesn't need a handler.” He say it through his teeth his metal hand rolling into a fist.

“Thanks.”

Steve's face is set he won't back off “Darcy this is serious.”

“I get that but I can defend take care of myself I think I proved that and in case you don't know I've been in worse situations than that.”

“Hiding behind a table tazing anyone who comes near you isn't fighting and you had Thor the other times.”

“I'll train you,”James says causing us both to stop mouths open.

“What,” I ask.

He looks just as surprised to say it as we are to hear it (2)“I'll teach you to defend yourself but until then you won't leave the tower alone. You'll have to one of Steve's team or myself with you.”

“Agreed.”

This is the best I'll get and any of the team would mean it doesn't have to be just them “Does this include Pepper?”

“Yes,” Steve say then lean to whisper something to Bucky.

“Agreed.”

“I...i don't know if this is a rule but if you want I'll you what I remember I about my family.”

I smile since his family is mean to in a unusual way “I would like that.”

“Good,” He tries to smile again.

“Any other rules?”

“Yes,”Steve says turning to James “No one here will ask you about what you did as the Winter Soldier that is your past and it's up to you to decide who can know about it.”

“I agree.”

He nods “Agree.”

“What do I call you?” I heard Steve call him Bucky but even trying to say it in my head it feels wrong.

“You can call me James if you want but um...only Steve calls me Bucky.”

“I can deal with that.”

“What else,” Steve ask.

I think over the three rules each of us made a rule and they seem to be all we need right now. “If we need more rules we'll add more rules.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

**Steve POV**

“Tony what the hell is this your autobiography?” I ask as Tony puts another box on the coffee table of the common room. This brings the total to twelve Darcy and Bucky are already opening boxes.

“What's project Brain Trust?”

Jarvis answers “Project Brain Trust was Hydra program to genetically modify the brains children. The project was deactivated before development began.”

“Thank God,” I say putting the folder back into the box.

Darcy opens another box “What are we looking for this is like looking for a needle in a stack of needles.”

“Look for files that are marked deactivated or anything with the keyword Asset.” I say the last part with just enough distaste that she knows Asset means Bucky.

“And here I was thinking I would go dancing tonight.”

“You like to dance?” Bucky asks looking up from a box studying her.

I see her trying to hide her blush into a file “Yeah do you?”

“Yes I did lots of girls with lots of red lipstick.”

“Maybe you could teach Steve how dance you know its amazing how someone you can fight suddenly has two left when you try to teach him how to dance.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“You know but 240 pounds super-soldier on my feet is more than an I'm sorry offense.” Darcy says in flush sass putting the lid on her box.

Bucky laughs it's his old laugh the one from way back in the day “He was skinnier when I tried to teach him.”

Darcy catches his eye giving him a thumbs up “That was sarcastic good job.”

I look at the file in my hands Project Wind-spear I read through the file using cloud seeding to create stronger tornadoes. It worked but with no way to control them the project died. Darcy is right words like _impossible_ and _normal_ shouldn't be in my vocabulary. “This going to be a long night.”

“Compared to being out in the desert in June this is way better.”

“I thought you liked the desert?”

She smiles “I do when I have air conditioning and mosquito spray.”

 


	14. We Get Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in my bed the first thing that pops in my head is James, his nightmare and my own stupidity. Walking to the bathroom I dread seeing my neck but there they are: the ugly purple bruise's. It’s clear what happened to me. On the left side there is a clear thumb shape. From that bruise I follow a line to the right side of my neck where most of his fingers were, the four bruises that end on my shoulder.  
> “Shit.” Pulling my hair into a tight bun I see the damage is very bad. I'm going to need to cover this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All hail the Empress_of_Plotbunnies my new Beta

**Bucky POV**

“ _Mission report?”_

“ _I let the target escape,” I report. The room is quiet_ _. T_ _he men in black uniforms stop talking._

_He nods, standing_ _with_ _his hands on his hips. “Why?”_

_That is a good question_ _._ _“Why was I sent to kill him?”_

_The man bends down to look at me. “He was a threat to Hydra.”_

“ _Hydra?” I know Hydra... “Hydra is the enemy.”_

“ _You are Hydra's greatest Asset, Hydra is not the enemy.”_

_This makes no sense. “I'm not an Asset.”_

_His hit is hard and fast. “You are the greatest_ _a_ _sset of Hydra_ _. Your_ _mission is to bring peace to the world.”_

_I say nothing_ _,_ _just look around_ _. T_ _his place is different from where I was before_ _,_ _where was I before_ _?_ _I was somewhere else and this isn't where I'm supposed to be. My arm is different, this isn't right none of this is right._

“ _Kane?”_

“ _Sir?”_

“ _He needs retraining.”_

_The man smiles “Yes, sir.”_

“ _Mr. Pierce, he's been out of Cryo-freeze for to_ _o_ _long.”A man in a white lab coat says timidly._

“ _Wi_ _p_ _e him then begin retraining_ _._ _I want him mission ready in forty-eight hours.”_

“ _No,” I say._

_They all turn to look at me._

“ _Wi_ _p_ _e him now.”_

_The leader of the uniformed gua_ _rds_ _holds my shoulders down “Come on_ _,_ _just lean back.”_

“ _No.” I stay sitting up this is bad this will be painful._

_The team leader he nods to his men and they him in holding me down._

“ _It_ _’_ _s not working boss.”_

“ _You got a better idea Rumlow?”_

_The one called Rumlow fires his gun “Yeah I do.”_

“ _You know what you're doing Kid,” the leader asks._

“ _Look here soldier,” He takes a rubber mouth guard from a tray and holds it in his other hand. “You can either have this.” He holds up the guard “Or I will shoot you in the leg and trust me that is painful. But order only comes from pain. So what do you want?”_

_Leaning back, I open my mouth._

“ _Very good,” He hands the rubber piece to a man in a white shirt._

_Pierce looks at the man “What_ _is your name again?”_

“ _Brock Rumlow, sir.”_

_He smiles. “You handled that very well son.”_

“ _Thank_ _you, sir.”_

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

**Darcy POV**

It’s late. In fact it is so late that it is early morning. I've been up all night. Steve and James are on different couches in the common room. Steve is breathing peacefully, his body relaxed. Even after all of the files, the bad plans and half-finished schemes Steve has this strange little smile on his face. I guess that being here with his best friend and me outweighs all the terrible things.

James is a whole different story. His whole body is rigid, all except for his right arm, which is shaking. He's having a nightmare and all I can hear is weak moans, but I’m sure he’s screaming.

“No,” His voice is getting louder as his breathing is getting more shallow.

“James?” I creep closer to him knowing that this isn't the best idea, that he could kill me but I can’t stop myself.

“No,” His voice only gets louder.

“Sergeant Barnes?”

That gets his attention and his eye open wide then narrow on me, studying me. Then before I can even breathe he's standing with my neck in his metal hand and my feet are off the ground. Sucking air I feel his cold metal fingers tighten around my neck. The natural reaction of my feet kicking knocks over a box of files, waking Steve.

“Bucky snap out of it,” He yells putting him in a headlock. Bucky releases my neck.

Coughing, I fall to the floor just as the door opens. “Darcy?”

Jane is by my side, her hand on my back helping me to breathe as Thor pulls Steve off of James. Steve is thrown into the bar as Thor takes James in his hands, holding him up “What is the meaning of this?”

Thor's deep booming voice seems to bring Bucky out of whatever nightmare he was in. Thor sees it and drops him. He lands on his feet but sinks to his knees, looking at his hands like he's just seeing them.

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes 32557038, Brooklyn New York.” He says it over and over again.

Steve vaults over the bar. He checks on me first. “Darcy, are you alright?”

I nod. “I'm fine, check him.”

“Come on Darcy I’ll take you back to your apartment,” She says in a tone that is not up for debate. She helps me stand. Steve is talking with James in a voice too low for me to hear.

“What was that?”

“It is the soldier's sickness, dreams of past battles that become so real that a friend could be seen as an enemy.”

“Post traumatic stress disorder,” I say, my hands on my neck. “It’s not his fault.”

Jane's face is red “I know whose fault it is.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Waking up in my bed the first thing that pops in my head is James, his nightmare and my own stupidity. Walking to the bathroom I dread seeing my neck but there they are: the ugly purple bruise's. It’s clear what happened to me. On the left side there is a clear thumb shape. From that bruise I follow a line to the right side of my neck where most of his fingers were, the four bruises that end on my shoulder.

“Shit.” Pulling my hair into a tight bun I see the damage is very bad. I'm going to need to cover this.

“Do you require medical assistance, Darcy?” Jarvis asked.

Taking my rarely used make-up bag from under the sink I say “No. How did Jane know what was going on in the common room?”

“Mr. Stark has Sergeant Barnes on 24 hour watch. I saw the altercation and alerted Dr. Foster.”

“Thank you.” I know I just said thank you to a computer but he did call Jane and not the whole tower. Iron Tony would be bad and the Hulk would be worse, so all things considered it could have been worse.

“You are very welcome.”

Putting a little concealer on my finger and touching the concealer to my neck I hiss. “Damn it.”

“You want some help?”

I drop my hand and reach for my eyeliner and she chuckles “Do you think you can kill me with that?”

“No,” I set the liner back on the sink.

“Let me help you,” She's different, not looking for information. I think she really does just want to help me.

I sit on the toilet. “How's he doing?”

Natasha crosses the threshold and picks up the concealer. “He's blaming himself.”

“He shouldn't, it’s my fault. I should have left him alone.”

I hiss again as she gently rubs the make-up on my neck “If that's how you feel.”

“It is. I should have left him alone.”

“Why didn't you?”

Closing my eyes and breathing out I respond,“I didn't want him to hurt himself.”

She switches to foundation “So, you get hurt in his place?”

“He's been hurt enough, don't you think?”

Natasha's usually unreadable face falls into a thin frown “He has.”

“When you care for someone getting hurt is part of the package.” I think that’s the oxygen deprivation talking, but I continue. “Like Steve.”

“He's my friend.”

“He likes you too.”

She puts the powder on my neck. “I know.”

“Well, one of you should make a move. In your line of work dying is...You should tell him.”

“I'm done,” Natasha steps back.

Looking at my neck my eyes get wide.“You are good.”

“So are you, you'll be good for Barnes.”

 

 


	15. Project Remake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went to the only place where I know that neither of them will go Jane's lab. It’s the kinda the perfect place to hide out. Back when I was just an Intern I learned that a happy Jane is well fed Jane. She would and still does get so wrapped up in theories, dark matter particles. Keeping snacks in the lab was proving to be a very good idea it meant I could sit in here eating granola bars not worrying about it.  
> “So, this where you’re going to hide out here now?”  
> I up from my phone to look at Jane “Why not they avoid this place like is an infectious disease ward.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been brought to you by me the wonderful ENC95 and edited by the wonderful Empress_of_Plotbunnies

**Project Remake**

It's a mess, more than it was when I was rushed out with Jane, the mountain of files I had piled up was knocked over. There was broken glass from where Steve was knocked into the bar and broken drywall where James was pushed into the wall. I could see the outline of his body there. I wonder if Tony's cleaning staff would fix this or if it would be an  in house job. Kneeling down, I want to curl up in a ball and cry but I'm stronger than that. I have to be.

I don't cry. I take a deep breath and get to work. rabbing the first file, I give it a glance. The word **Deactivate is** stamped on the front. It’s thick, bound together by many rubber bands. It is one of the few file still intact, he rest of the files having flown apart litter the floor. Opening the first page says **Project Remake Phase One**.

“Construction of the womb tank finished. Animal trails are promising. Subject 8Q has had the longest gestation on record. We can hypothesize that this subject may lead to full gestation.” Turning the page I see what looks like a baby monkey in a glass tank, its hair floating in the tank of a weird green fluid. Closing the file I order myself not to be sick.This is it.“Miss Lewis are you ill? shall I call doctor Banner?”

“No Jarvis I'm fine.” Steve needs to see this and I know I can't look at it alone. I to the elevator. “Take me to Steve's apartment.”

“I feel compelled to warn you that Sergeant Barnes is there as well.”

“Jarvis, I need see them both right now.”

“As you wish,” the AI says already taking me down.

Holding the file in my hands it feels heavier than it really is, but this holds the answers to questions that I have had since I was little. It’s all right here and I am completely terrified of what I might find. Maybe I'm not as strong as I like to think.

“Darcy, you're here.”

“Um…thanks.”

Walking up to the door I hold my fist up to knock but I think about what happen this morning. They might not want to see me. As I turn to leave, however,the door opens. I turn and see Steve standing in the doorway.

“Hi,” I say.

“Are you okay?” Normally he looks me in the eyes but right now his eyes are on my neck. I wasn't going towear a turtleneck, that’s like putting a big neon sign on my neck saying “Someone choked me!”. The shirt has a black lace overlay reaching the bottom of my neck. Add my hair being down and Natasha’s wonderful cover-up and it’s hard to tell that anything happen.

“Oh yeah,um, I was just in the common room and,” I look down at the file. “I found this. I think its what we've been looking for so” I hold it out. “You two should look at it first in case there is anything I don't want to know.”

“Rule number one,” He says with a hard sigh. “Do you want to come in?”

I scoff. “Is that really a good idea?”

He shrugs and smiles slyly. “Probably not.”

Oh come on Darcy, I scold myself, this is Steve. He won't hurt me and neither will James. This morning was an accident. I step into the apartment for the first time since mostly we met in my apartment or in the city. This is nice in an old-fashioned way.

“Hello Darcy.”

“Hey, are you feeling better?”

James looks confused “I'm the one who hurt you, shouldn't I be asking that question.”

“I'm fine, just a little sore.”

“I'm sorry if I hurt you,” The words don't sound forced but they are raw full of shame and sorrow.

I take his hand. “Its fine I know you didn't mean too.”

Steve clears his throat. “Bucky, I think you should see this.”

“Right well, I should be going I... have to help Jane in the lab today.” I say and take my leave.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

I went to the only place where I know that neither of them will go: Jane's lab. It’s the kind of the perfect place to hide out. Back when I was just an intern, I learned that a happy Jane is a well-fed Jane. She gets so wrapped up in her theories. Keeping snacks in the lab was proving to be a very good idea since it meant I could sit in here eating granola bars not worrying about Steve and James

“So, this where you’re going to hide out now?”

I up from my phone to look at Jane “Why not? hey avoid this place like it’s an infectious disease ward.”

“Steve told me about the file.”

“Of course he did. Did they find anything?”

“Yeah, they want to see you.”

Standing up, I nod.“I guess it’s too late to back out now?”

“Yeah,” Jane puts her arm around me as she leads me to the elevator. “I know who you are. You’re my best friend, the little sister I always wanted. No matter where you come from, this is where you are now.”

“Take us to Steve’s place Jarvis.” I say.

“Of course Darcy.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. The ride is far too short.“Do you want me to stay?”

“No,” I would love for her to stay but I don’t want her to look at me any more differently than she already does. Before she would look at me like I was just her intern, but now I see her eyes linger on me. She’s waiting for me to turn into a monster or for the flip to switch that causes me to do bad things. Right now I’m one of her theories, a random particle that she has to figure out. I don’t want her to fear me. . I know she fears James, she is coolly civil to him because that’s how she shows fear.

“Well, you know where I’ll be,” She is trying to smile but it’s not working and she retreats back to the elevator.

I don’t knock, I just go right in because if I knock then I’ll have to have a pointless conversation. They are both on the edge of their seats, Steve in a chair and James is on the couch. The Hydra papers are spread out on the coffee table in front of them. I walk to them and sit beside James.

“So what did you guys find?”

“This is a womb tank where you…” Steve voice trails off like he’s trying to put this gently but I don’t think Hydra does gentle.

“It’s where you were grown from my DNA,” James says.

I look at the picture. There is the same green liquid that I saw before but in place of the monkey fetus there is a semi-transparent bubble with pink fluid. I can make out the shape of a human fetus. Turning the picture over I see that the back is marked **Subject J5.**

Feeling the tears in my eyes, I look at them. “Is this me?”

Steve rests his hand on the table “There were five embryo’s implanted in five tanks. You are the only one to make it.”

“What happened to the others?”

James answers. “They were birthed before you but they had defects.” Judging from the grim looks on their face they both know the details of what happened to them, but this where rule number 1 comes in.

“Where was I birthed?”

Steve holds out a piece of paper. “A Hydra facility Rhode Island on June 5th 1995.”

“How did I get to Virginia?”

“They think you’re dead.”

“How?”

James takes a picture from the pile of papers “This man is Martin Tanner. He was an intern for the Hydra team that developed you.”

Taking the picture, I notice how skinny he is. I know the camera adds ten pounds but this guy could use another twenty. He doesn’t look too happy in the photo, his eyes seem to radiate sorrow. “This guy is one who left me at the hospital.”

Steve scoffs. “They think he killed you and dumped your body across the Stateline. You can read the report if you want.”

“Where is he?” I ask

They both glance at each other. “We don’t know. He left after they scrapped the project. They followed him for a year then he fell off the grid. They deemed him an acceptable loss.”

“So, now I know how I was made but why didn’t kill me?”

James turns to face me. “I’ll find him and you can ask him.”

“Bucky that’s a terrible  idea!”

“I agree with Steve here. That’s too dangerous. They want you back. f they think I’m dead then let them.”

Part of being a clone means that his eye are my eyes and while the shade might be the same the emotion behind them is different. I see my reflection in them \\. I am scared and worried. There is rage and hate in his eyes. The kind that has to burn out on its own. If he is me, and I know myself, then I can’t talk him out of this.

“This is my mission.”

“Bucky-“

“Then take Steve with you,” I say.

“I will if you let Natalia train you while we’re gone.”

“Deal.”

“Can I say something?”

We made our deal giving Steve little thought. “No.”

I smile at the indifference. “Steve this is the best we can do right now and you two working together no one has a chance.


	16. Training Sessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He laughs. “I hit him twice, but my team...They got a little carried away.”  
> The man takes a metal object form a table to scan my body. “A little?”  
> A blue light scans my body as a young man starts to clean the blood from my face.  
> “You got a problem? You can take it up with Pierce.”  
> “Most of this is just minor damage,” the younger white coat says.  
> “Two broken ribs, one cracked. They should be healed in approximately one hour.” The head doctor says. “Set-up an IV Tanner. It needs to have its fluids and proteins replenished.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the Empress_of_Plotbunnies for editing and her input on the story.

Two days later Steve, Darcy, and I are in a conference room for a briefing on the Martin Tanner, the one who stole Darcy. This is the strangest briefing I have ever been a part of, aside from my being here alert. There is food on the table and Steve and Darcy are having a very heated argument.

“How can someone fall off the grid in the age of technology?”  Steve asks, using a fork to stab a piece of sweet and sour pork.

Darcy answers him as she walks around the table.  “It was the 90s, computers hadn’t taken over the world yet. If he could take over another man’s identity somewhere, then it’s entirely possible for this guy to go off the grid.”

“Where would he go,” I ask. If I was ever separated from the Strike team then I was to go to the nearest Hydra safe house. After the museum that’s where I went but no one was there it was gone. Raided by a government organization, not Shield.

“He has no family, and his mother…” Steve stops and smiles at Darcy.

“His mother what?”

“Her last name was Lewis and his grandmother was named Darcy.”

She looks like she might cry. “He named me.”

“He did and he left me at a hospital where he knew I would be found quickly. He made sure of it.”

I nod. “He cared about you.”

“He didn’t kill me cares for me.” She write it on the board along with the word ‘why’ and a question mark.

 Darcy sits next to me and picks up her chopsticks. “Pass the lo-main.”

I pass the container as Steve writes ‘places’ on the board “Where would you hide?”

“I would wait for my handler.”

Darcy takes a bite of lo-main and chews slowly, appearing to be deep in thought. “He wouldn’t go to his hometown or any other little town where people would know him as _the man who appeared here twenty years ago._ ”

“That’s very well thought out.”

She points her chopsticks at me. “Is that an insult or compliment?”

I shrug my shoulders and reach out for an eggroll. “Both I think.”

“He’d need a new identity and I don’t know how to get a new one.”

“You have to steal a birth certificate from a baby that died shortly after its birth.”

  A wave of sadness pass over her eyes, but it passes quickly. “That’s good, I can write a program looking for someone who appeared from nowhere around the time I was born.”

Steve doesn’t look too happy. “That’s a lot people.”

“Not really,” Darcy says, taking a tablet off the table. “I can eliminate anyone who doesn’t fit his physical type. That should narrow it down, then cross reference with names and Social Security numbers who died in infancy.”

Her voice is so matter of fact. This is her specialty. “How will it take?”

“I can write the program. It might take day or two, but then I can upload it to Jarvis’s system.” Her eyes look to the ceiling “I can do that, right?”

Jarvis answers. “Of course you can. Once the program is uploaded it should only take a few hours to narrow the field further.”

 Darcy stands and stretches. “Well, I guess I should get to work. And, you two try not to stay up to late.”

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

_“Soldier.”_

_Looking up there is an agent in front of me. I’ve seen him before._

_He smiles. “I am your new Handler, Agent Rumlow, you will obey me correct?”_

_“Yes Sir.”_

_I hear the air whistle as the agent’s fist connects with my face. “I didn’t give you permission to speak.”_

_“Rumlow-”_

_He turns to another agent. “Shut it Collins.”_

_“He could kill you.”_

_Rumlow turns to me. “Stand up.”_

_I stand at attention, awaiting his order._

_“You are going to stand at attention, you’re not going to say anything, nor will you move. Nod if you understand.”_

_Rumlow smiles when I nod._

_“Agents, form a line.” He yells and there is a line eight men in front of him. “This is an asset a tool! Teach him his place.”_

_They start to mutter. “But Sir-“_

_My handler hits me again but I have my orders. I don’t move or speak. I feel blood drip down from my lip “Tell these ladies why you didn’t defend yourself.”_

_“I was given orders not to move or speak, sir.”_

_“Tell me, will you ever disobey an order?”_

_“No sir,” I say with my eyes facing forward._

_“Collins front and center now.”_

_The man Collins steps forward. “Sir?”_

_“Hit him anywhere you like.”_

_Taking his stand his fist comes hard and fast right into my abdomen. He seems surprised that I did not attack him._

**_Four Hours Later_ **

_“What the hell Rumlow?”_

_“Pierce said I could retrain it any way I wanted,” My Handler says._

_“You don’t have to sound so proud. How many times did you hit him?”  One of the white-coated men asks, setting me in a chair. I am breathing slowly and shallowly. One of my ribs was damaged. Each breath is painful but I followed my orders not to move or speak._

_He laughs. “I hit him twice, but my team...They got a little carried away.”_

_The man takes a metal object form a table to scan my body. “A little?”_

_A blue light scans my body as a young man starts to clean the blood from my face._

_“You got a problem? You can take it up with Pierce.”_

_“Most of this is just minor damage,” the younger white coat says._

_“Two broken ribs, one cracked. They should be healed in approximately one hour.” The head doctor says. “Set-up an IV Tanner. It needs to have its fluids and proteins replenished.”_

_The young doctor sets aside the bloody gauze. “Yes sir, but what happens to him after that?”_

_“Then we put IT back into Cryo-freeze.” The word **it** is emphasized in the older doctor’s speaking pattern._

_My Handler notes the change too. “Kid you’re new here right?”_

_He nods. His posture suggests fear. “Yes sir.”_

_“Then let’s get one thing straight,” Rumlow holds the shoulder of the young doctor, putting pressure on him. “This isn’t a man. It might look human. It is not. It is simply another tool for Hydra to use. Do you understand?”_

_“Yes sir.”_

_He pushes the young doctor back, causing him to fall. “Good. Don’t forget it.”_

_```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````_

“So when do I learn how punch people and roundhouse guys twice my size?” Darcy asks.

“First you have to leave how to calm down in the face of battle,” I say, holding out a heart rate monitor.

“Does Banner know you took that?”

“Yes. Now give me your arm.”

She holds out her left arm. “What’s this for? I thought adrenaline was good in a fight?”

“For someone who has training it is but you don’t adrenalin can make you stupid you’ll make a mistake you’ll be dead.” Her expression is one of worry as I attach the band to her arm. “But, when I’m done you’ll able to take down people twice your size.”

“So what now?”

“Sit.”

She sits on the mat cross legged. “Now what?”

“Jarvis,” I prompt the artificial intelligence. This morning I asked him prepare a playlist of loud noises. The kind that would frighten her.

The sound of sirens and thunder fills the room “James what the hell?” She ask with her hands over both ears. When she removes her hands from her ears the sounds stop only for the alarm from her monitor echo around the room.

Getting on the floor with her I take her hands. “Breath with me.”

After several minutes, fifteen minutes in fact, her heart slows down to a normal rate again. “Fifteen minutes.”

“That was a test?”

I nod “Yes. Now, I’m going to ask Jarvis to play that again and your heart is going to speed up. That will never change, no matter how many times it happens. That you can’t control. What can you control is your response time.”

“What a response time?”

“That would be the time it takes your heart to slow down to its normal rate. When your heart rate is normal you think more clearly.

Sitting up, Darcy takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Jarvis play it again.”

This time its screaming music that plays, Darcy closes her eyes and balls her hands into fists. Her monitor is sounding off and her breathing is fast and shallow at first but her breathing slows eventually.

“It’s not working.”

“Switch it off,” I say.

“Look I’ll not trying to tell you how to do your thing here but this isn’t working.”

Standing up, I look down at her. “This is just day one you don’t become a master in a day.”

She turns her head. “How long did it take you?”

“I had different teachers ones that were cruel and hard.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

I reassure her. “No you’re…you can ask but I might not tell you.”

Darcy takes my hand and pulls herself up. “That’s fair.”


	17. We Found Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Miss Lewis, are you sure about this?”  
> Sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor, I close my eyes. “The only way to get what I want is to practice.”  
> “As you wish.”   
> The loud scream music does make me jump but I can’t control that yet. I can, however, control my heart rate somewhat. Breathing in and out, I focus on my thudding heartbeat. I keep my mind on that sound, counting the beats. I let the sound of the thump-thump drown out the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Praise to the Beta reader/editor of this story the Empress_of_Plotbunnies

“Miss Lewis you have a phone call.” Jarvis informs me as I start to chop vegetables for dinner.

“Who is it?” Everyone I talk to is already here.

“Tanya-“

“Let the call through,” I say reaching for my phone before he can finish the name.

“Darcy?”

“Hi Mom.”

She sighs sweetly. “I love hearing you say that.”

I laugh. “It took me long enough.”

“How are you?”

She never was a subtle person. “I’m…better.”

“Good. No drinking?”

“No, I think I’m off drinking for a while.”

“And your boys?”

My boys. I like that calling them that. “They're good I’m worried about James. He has these nightmares that just…” They terrify me. I know that James Barnes won’t harm me but the Winter Soldier could and would. “He’s not himself.”

“Darcy, when have you ever backed away from a challenge?”

“I’m not backing out. He’s teaching me to fight.”

“Really? My little girl, all grown up and learning to kick ass without her taser,” Tanya uses her fake crying voice.

“Oh, where do I get my sense of humor is it genetic or learned?”

“Both probably.”

A double dose of sarcasm. How wonderful. “How’s Hawkeye fitting in?”

She groans. “The kids love him he’s teaching them sign language.”

“Sounds great.”

“Ha ha.”

“Since you’re calling me I take it dinner is over.”

“It is. What about you?”

Putting the phone on speaker, I get back to my veggies. “I’m cooking now.”

“Anything good?”

“Of course. I’m having tuna casserole.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it.”

“Alright. Thanks for calling, Mom.”

I hear the smile in her voice when she speaks. “I had to check on my Darcy.”

Dinner was great my cooking is wonderful and Tony only has the best food in his tower. The dishes are done and my clothes are all clean, everything is clean. Maybe this is why Steve doesn’t allow the cleaning crew in his apartment. Jane is analyzing data so she won’t be needing me for a while now. I could call my mom back, but she’s probably busy since it’s about bedtime for the little ones and homework for the older kids. I guess I could check on my own program for finding Martin. No, I have all this energy inside of me that I need to let out.

“Miss Lewis, are you sure about this?”

Sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor, I close my eyes. “The only way to get what I want is to practice.”

“As you wish.”

The loud scream music does make me jump but I can’t control that yet. I can, however, control my heart rate somewhat. Breathing in and out, I focus on my thudding heartbeat. I keep my mind on that sound, counting the beats. I let the sound of the thump-thump drown out the music.

As my beats slow down the music stops. “Fourteen minutes Miss Lewis.”

I smile. I just shaved a minute off my time. “That’s good but practice makes perfect.”

My practice runs late into the night. I shower then hit the sack around eleven. I am almost asleep when I hear Jarvis speak.

“Miss Lewis?”

“This is just a dream,” I mutter.

 “Miss Lewis?”

I look at my clock. “Jarvis it’s after midnight. I’ve been in bed for an hour. You better have very good or very bad news.”

“I have narrowed down the list of suspects for Martin Tanner.”

I go from being half asleep to being wide awake very quickly. “Put the results on my TV.”

By the time I’m in the living room there are five pictures on the TV. “These are the only men that fit the profile.”

“Yes. I could expand the perimeters if you wish.”

“No,” One of these men took me from Hydra. “It’s just I won’t be sleeping tonight.” I go into my kitchen to start some coffee.

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“Did you sleep at all?” Steve asks as he and James enter the room.

“For an hour maybe.”

James stares at the screen. “These are the men that your program found.”

I nod, sipping my coffee. “Yup, they all have names that according to Jarvis match boys that all died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.”

James touches the screen. “I’ve seen this man before.”

“Him,” He was the man third from the front. “I saw him before.”

“You did?”

“Retraining,” He says it so softly that I almost don’t catch it.

“Jarvis enlarge him.” The man is tall, with freckles covering much of his face. He has red hair and his eyes are a plain shade of brown. His face seems older the man himself. He doesn’t seem too happy, more like he’d punch you in the face just for looking at him. He has a large frame, not as big as Thor or even Steve, but this man isn’t someone you’d want to mess with. 

“Are you sure?” I ask. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s the Winter Soldier I don’t trust.

The picture expands. “This man is using the name Jason Clark. The real Jason Clark died eight days after his birth in 1968. He doesn’t appear again until July of 1991. This is the most current picture.”

“And Martin Tanner?” Steve asks. “Where is the most recent picture of him?”

“That’s the doctor,” James says. “He was…Rumlow told him I was a tool then pushed him down.”

“I could push him down,” This man is younger with the same red hair, same brown eyes. But he looks meek, the living definition of a little guy. I think that the gruff man in first picture ate the little guy in the second picture.

 “Where can we find this man?”

Jarvis answers. “Jason Clark has an address in Bitter Creek, Wisconsin. No computer or cellphone. He works at the local lumber mill. Never married, no children.”

“What’s the address?”

“He lives in cabin on Black Rose Road.”

“Thank you,” I say. I have this little backpack that is perfect for traveling. Steve and James follow me, concern on both of their faces, I choose to ignore that look.

Steve asks what they're both thinking. “What are you doing?”

“Packing. You two should do the same since I’m not allowed outside without another person.”

James sounds very serious when he speaks again. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“We,” I emphasize the word we. “Are going to Wisconsin. I have to talk to him, ask him why he did what he did.” This is crazy and I know it, but this something I have to do. And who would be better bodyguards than Captain America and the Winter Soldier?

“Darcy, no!”

“Steve I like you and we are friends but you can’t stop I know someone in this Tower will go with me. It doesn’t have to either of you I would really want it to be.” Reaching under my bed I pull out the framed wrapper then I just fall the bed. “He named me and left Hydra there has to be reason.”

“I’ll go with you,” James says tenderly.

“But?”

He lets out a short almost chuckle. “But, not today you need to rest.”

Of course he’s right, but I feel like if I sleep or stop to think I’ll talk myself out of doing this. “I’ll sleep on the train.”

“No.” He says in a no nonsense way and I know that I won’t be leaving today.

“Bucky, you can’t be serious?” Steve asks. He doesn’t like any plan that involves me leaving the Tower. He’s very over protective over me, which is where James comes in. He knows that I’ll do something hot-headed that’s why he’s training so that when I do something reckless I can defend myself.

“Bucky?”

“That’s his thinking face,” I tell Steve. He’s frozen in place, probably thinking about all the variables.

“He’s been in hiding for more than twenty years, we’ll need to move in quickly if he sees us.”

“He’ll run.” Steve finishes for him.

That would make sense, being a Hydra defector he would have to be on guard all the time. And, seeing the Winter Soldier or Captain America in a time when Hydra members are being actively hunted would make him even more cautious.

“So when do we leave?” I ask.

James takes the bag off the bed. “You need to sleep and Steve will need to make a tactical plan.”

I am on my bed and it feels wonderful after being awake for so long. “Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments you should write me one since you already read to this point.


	18. Martin Tanner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m here to-“  
> “Kill me I know,” he pours a glass.   
> “Someone wants to talk to you.”   
> He downs the whole glass “I won’t say shit.” I watch as Tanner downs two more glasses before taking the entire bottle to a chair. Bucky is back at the hotel with Darcy. I’m sure it’s taking all of her patience to stay there. The metal-armed assassin with her doesn’t hurt either. “This is about a baby girl.”  
> “Killed her,” He drinks from the bottle. “I’m sure there is a report somewhere that says that and now you’re to kill me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I got a email from my wonderful beta and she asked if I was still writing this story. I looked over the unfinished chapter in two hours finished it. Also I will keep writing so this isn't the last chapter I hope you all it.

 “Hey Jay, you coming to Mickeys’ with us?”

I wave them off. “No, I think I’ll pass tonight boys.” They all nod like they know why I can’t go. I was being watched. I felt their eyes on me all day. Walking to my truck, I feel peaceful. For twenty-four years I had lived, wondering if today was my last day, today I know. My sins may not be as neuromas as others but they weigh heavily on my soul.

Driving down the dirt road to my house, I wonder how it will happen. Are the brakes’ on my truck cut? Or will it be more subtle, a house fire or robbery gone wrong? When they kill me, will I go to hell? Looking in the rear view mirror, I don’t look like the scared kid that did all those terrible things.

Pulling into my driveway I don’t see anything, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t watching. I walk into the dark house. Everything is where I left it this morning. Most of the furniture I made myself out of necessity. . When I first moved in, it was winter and there was no power. After that things got easier and I got tougher. My job at the mill allowed me to put on some muscle. I got to know more people in town but never married or had children.

Most night I lay awake thinking about her, the little baby girl that I left at the hospital.  There was a moment when I was writing her name on the hospital form that I thought about keeping her. But, what kind of life could I give her? Then I was living in fear if Hydra found her they would turn her into a weapon and I had no way to defend her. Just like Soldier, he was on his own now too. I wonder if he’ll be the one to kill me for what I did or didn’t do to him.

I walk out the back door. I set up this area for shopping wood. And, I know that are still here just waiting for the order to come down to kill me but this is my life. Taking my ax I bring it down on the log, splitting it in two smaller pieces.

I keep the going for another hour before I finally look into the woods. “Are you going to keep watching or are you going to kill me?”

It’s not the soldier I thought would be coming for me. “You’re Martin Tanner?”

Keeping my hands on the ax. “Captain, are you here to kill me?”

He holsters his gun but holds the shield high. “I just want to talk.”

Slamming the ax into the stump I sigh deeply. “Can I drink while we talk?”

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**Steve**

He leads me into his house. “I know you can’t get drunk but if it’s all the same to you, I’ll be drinking.”

“I’m here to-“

“Kill me I know,” he pours a glass.

“Someone wants to talk to you.”

He downs the whole glass “I won’t say shit.” I watch as Tanner downs two more glasses before taking the entire bottle to a chair. Bucky is back at the hotel with Darcy. I’m sure it’s taking all of her patience to stay there. The metal-armed assassin with her doesn’t hurt either. “This is about a baby girl.”

“Killed her,” He drinks from the bottle. “I’m sure there is a report somewhere that says that and now you’re to kill me.”

“She’s alive.”

His voice goes cold. “Don’t know anything about that.”

This is going nowhere. “Darcy. She’s here she sent me here to get you.”

The sound of the bottle landing on the hardwood floors echoes across the room. “She’s here?” He sounding very concerned. “She can’t be here.”

I lean back on my heels. “She is, she want to meet you.”

“She does?”

“We know all about you what you did.” I glance around the room. All the walls are bare: no family, a few pictures of him on a lake with other men.

“Nonono.” He stands putting his hands on his head. “She can’t be here, they’ll find her and they’ll kill her or worse! She has to be very far away from me.”

“You cared about her.”

He paces the length of the room, his voice taking on gentler tone. “I wanted to take her with me, but I was just a kid! A skinny little nothing with Hydra on my tail. Besides, what would I tell her? That she was lab experiment gone wrong? She would hate me. It was better that she grow up with some kind of normal life.” The man’s eyes travel up and down my body. “I guess that never in the stars for her.”

“Darcy Lewis was never meant to have a normal life. _She’s_ not normal.”

Tanner sits back in the chair, his left leg bouncing. “It’s all I wanted for her.”

“You just want her to be happy right?” He nods. “Then come meet her. She’s great.”

“The Asset, the Winter Soldier does he know about her?”

I grimace. “He’s actually with her right now.”

He smiles and laughs. “Together you all found me. Can I get something before we go?”

I nod and as he stand I follow him. He doesn’t look like the type to run, but I still watch him as he reaches under the bed and pulls out a small metal box. Then he catches himself in the mirror. “Could you give me moment to change?”

“Sure.”

“You aren’t going to leave me alone are you?”

 “If I was in your place and you were in mine, would you leave me alone?”

“Nope.” He pulls off his shirt facing away from me. His musculature is not on par with his previous lifestyle. “You look different from the kid I saw in the hydra files.”

Tanner pulls on a new shirt and begins buttoning it.

“I came here with no money and no family. I took the first job I could get, which turned out to be hauling lumber to trucks for eight hours a day, five days a week. At first I kept to myself, still kinda do. I never thought I would last this long. I thought maybe they would come and kill me for disobeying them and ruining their experiment.”

“They would torture you to death,” We both know they would.

Again, he nods, looking at himself in the mirror. “They would and I would deserve it. I’ve never done much good with my life. Saving her was it for me.”

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

**Darcy**

“Do you think he’s okay?”

“Yes.”

I’m pacing in the hotel room to try to calm myself down, but it isn’t working. “What if he doesn’t come?”

“He will. They both will,” James tries to reassure me. James is sitting on the edge of the bed eyes closed staying rigidly still.

Since this is James I know that his demeanor is calm but I am made from him so I know that our thoughts are similar. He must be worried as well, if not for Tanner then for Steve and me.  Worrying about what’s happening is as close to calm as I can possibly be.

“Darcy, focus,” James says evenly. “Breathe deeply and listen.”

I stay standing but stop in place, inhaling so deeply that my lungs hurt. Through my training I’ve learned that my senses are sharper than most human’s senses are. They aren’t as good as Steve or James, but they are enhanced. I smell the stale air of the room mixing with the coffee and donuts from this morning. I exhale and inhale a fresh breath, this time smelling the jasmine soap in the bathroom and the metal-and-gunpowder scent of James’s bag.

Opening my eyes, I hear the sounds of steps in the hall. “He’s back.”

James nods. “He’s not alone.”

I hear loud steps and the light steps that belong to Steve. For a big guy Steve is light on his feet so the heavy steps must be from Tanner. Suddenly I feel nervous like back at the orphanage when new parents would come.  Someone important is coming and you want them to like you, so you automatically overthink everything that could be offensive.

He enters the room looking nervous to holding a small metal box under one arm. I look at him and I knew him. There is tiny part of my being that knows this strange man in front of me. It’s just a feeling but it's there.

His eyes look at me and he comes toward me with tears in his eyes James move but I hold my hand up. Tanner looks at me hold out his hand as if to touch my cheek. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I know you.”

He nods. “For a few hours you did.”

“We should sit.” I say because my knees feel like they’re about to give out.

“Right,” He sits at the little table setting the metal box down.

“I would tell you my name but you gave it to me.” I say, sitting across from him.

Tanner pushes the box to me “Um…these are for you.”

Taking the box, I ask, “What is it?”

He look over at Steve and James. They don’t look like they are listening but I know they are. James is listening to every word Martin says, waiting for him to turn on me, but I don’t think he will. “Letters to you. I wrote them to you and hid them in case I was ever found, dead or missing I wanted you to know who you are. There is a friend of mine in town who would have sent this to Willowdale.”

“You sent me gifts, didn’t you?” At the orphanage we always got two presents, no matter what. But if you had a parent or relative that knew about you but couldn’t keep you, they would sometimes send you a present. I got a mystery present every year from the time I was a baby to now, despite my housing change.

“They were just little things that I would see and I thought maybe you might like them.”

His hands are shaking and I reach over to him. “I loved them.”

He nods, looking relieved. “Captain Rogers said you have questions and you are old enough for the answers. So, Darcy, ask me anything and I will answer honestly.”

 

 


	19. Answers to my Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you sleep at all?” Steve asks the next morning when he finds me surrounded by open letters. I hold up a letter as my answer. He nods, holding out a cup of coffee. “We’re leaving pack your stuff.”  
> “Is he still coming back with us?” I ask Steve as I carefully put the letter back into their envelopes. The earlier letters were more to himself, convincing himself that what he did was right and writing down his hopes for my future. It gave me an odd sense of pride that I had become the woman he thought I could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first started this it was just me and the grammar then the Empress of Plotbunnies said she would beta read and edit. I love my that she takes time out her day to do this. She also very good about her edits and more and more her little changes to the story have grown. Now this fic wouldn't be nearly as good without her so I've made her my co-author.

**Answers to all my Questions**

“Why didn’t you kill me?”

He smiles. “You were a tiny baby. I could fit your entire body on my forearm. Before the orders came down to kill you, I was there in the room. It was a doctor, Brock Rumlow, and me. You were crying because no one had fed you or held you, but Rumlow yelled at you and you stopped crying.”

Ms. Roth had said that I didn’t like loud noises when I was a baby. I guess I know why now. “Then what happened?”

“You were shaking, only hours old. I held you and you looked me with these big blue eyes, so innocent. They said it was a mistake that you came out a girl.”

“I was.” I try to keep the sound of disappointment in my voice. From the look on his face, I failed miserably.

Tanner reaches over taking my hand “They said that but I knew the minute you looked at me that you were worth keeping. I was supposed to inject you with a lethal dose of it then dump you in the river.”

They said I was drugged. “You took me from them.”

“Once you were asleep I put you in a box and got in my car and drove till you started to wake-up. I stopped at a hospital eventually, but I couldn’t bring myself to take you in until you had a name...” He looks over at James. “You never had a name with them, only a title.” Looking back at me he says. “They didn’t give you one either, so I did.”

“Why?”

“Because.” He sighs. I get the impression that he’s explaining more to himself than me. “I didn’t want you to be some Jane Doe. I wanted you have something that was yours and yours alone.”

“Did you think of taking me with you?”

He nods. “I think about that all the time, about what would have happened if I had. But that first year I was living in homeless shelters and never staying in one place longer than a week. You were better off, at least that’s I told myself.”

“I was. No one ever adopted me, but I’ve had a great life.”

This makes him smile. I can tell that’s a rare thing for him. “I’m glad you’ve had a good life.” His eyes scan the room again lingering on Steve and James. “They’re your family now?”

“It’s an odd sort of family that I have.” I agree with him. “But they’re mine.”

“Good.” He says giving my hand a squeeze “Someone as special as you needs brothers like them.”

I might cry, he thought I was special. “What about you? Do you have someone special?”

Tanner shakes his head. “I had you. In my opinion, I did something good with my life.” He looks at James. “I’ve let bad things happen to good people. Saving you is the best thing I have ever done in my life. You are an amazing woman.”

Now I’m really crying, tears rushing down my cheeks. He wipes them away with a watery smile. “Are you going to come back with us?”

“If you want me to.”

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Taking one of the envelopes I noticed the yellowing around the corners of the once bright paper. Martin is sleeping in the next room with Steve, while James is sleeping very lightly in the bed next to me. I should be sleeping too, but I can’t. I very rarely have a few moments of privacy these days, and I have to read these letters. Opening the first one, I see that it’s marked June 5, 1992, my first birthday.

_Dear Darcy,_

_Today is your first birthday and God willing it is a happy one. You don’t know me and I can’t tell you much, but I can tell you that I’m not your father_. _I am, however, the one who left you at that hospital. It was the right thing to do. I knew that they would take care of you. The place that I took you from wasn’t good at all, it was filled with darkness and corruption. You were a little ray of light that I couldn’t leave in that terrible place. Your first few hours of life were almost your last. Even now as I write this, it puts you in danger but as I sit here in this shelter I know that this might be the only the only opportunity that I get to explain your origins. Darcy, you might not believe this but what telling you is true._

_You are genetically a clone of fierce killer called the Winter Soldier, you were supposed to be a 100% match meaning you would’ve been a boy. But you were born a beautiful girl, making you about a 93% match to the Soldier. Being a girl was a mistake to them and they wanted to kill you. I was supposed to kill you, but I didn’t…I couldn’t. You were so small, an innocent life. You hadn’t done anything to anyone, you deserves to live._

_Darcy Lewis, I know that you must have questions and it is my great regret that I am not able to answer them in person. I can tell you that with the people who made you wouldn’t have been given a name. Darcy, was my grandmother’s name she was great woman who believed that everyone had a reason for being born. You are here for a reason Darcy, I can’t tell you what that reason is. You’ll find out when you’re older. Lewis is my mother’s last name. She was the strongest person I knew. You can be whatever you want, good or evil, wise or foolish. This is your choice._

_I know that you have more questions now and I left with few answers but this is how things have to be. I’m not sorry that I took you, I’m only sorry that I won’t see you become the beautiful and strong woman I know you can be._

_MT_

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“Did you sleep at all?” Steve asks the next morning when he finds me surrounded by open letters. I hold up a letter as my answer. He nods, holding out a cup of coffee. “We’re leaving pack your stuff.”

“Is he still coming back with us?” I ask Steve as I carefully put the letter back into their envelopes. The earlier letters were more to himself, convincing himself that what he did was right and writing down his hopes for my future. It gave me an odd sense of pride that I had become the woman he thought I could be.

“Yeah.”

Good, he was right in his first letter when he said that I would have more questions. I read the Hydra file on me and the few scraps of writing on Tanner. Now I have a person who will answer my questions.

“How was it last night?” Tanner was more at ease around me last night, but around Steve and James he was like a live animal thrown into the lion’s den. I saw him waiting for one of them to pull a gun to kill him.

“I slept, but I don’t think he did.”

“He thought you would slit his throat while he slept.” James says, exiting the bathroom. Now since James has been with us he’s gotten some of his sense of humor back. He’ll say something sarcastic then that almost smile will cross his face, leaving Steve and I to exchange that _did he just make a joke_ glance then laugh.

“That’s not funny.” Steve says.

“I’m not joking.”

I let out a harsh sigh. Maybe we should take Tony’s plane back a nine hour train ride with these guys might not end well. Steve looks at me for confirmation. “He’s not joking.”

“This is going to be a long day.”

I leave the two old men to talk and take the metal box of letters with me. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

“Captain Obvious?” Tanner says leaning on the wall between the two doors. “You’re a brave woman.”

I smile. “They’re really good people if you get to know them.”

“Did you…” He nods to the box.

I nod. “Yeah, I think that it’s nice that you wanted me to know where I came from. I’ve read to about year eight.” He wrote to me on my birthday and Christmas time every year and sporadically throughout the rest of the year such as in the beginning of August my fifth year, telling me to not be afraid on my first day of school.

“What will we do now?”

We start walking down the stairs. “You come to New York with us, the Tower is kinda like the island of misfit toys.”

“Dangerous toys.”

Smiling I unlock the rental car. “We’re all dangerous in our own special way.”

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I’m almost asleep, the gentle motion of the train lulling me into unconsciousness. Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m leaning against James’ shoulder. Steve is sitting opposite of James and in front of me is Martin. Now I would be dreaming if I didn’t hear this question from Steve.

“What are your intentions towards Darcy?” My eyes are closed so I just have to settle for feeling Martin’s body tense up.

“Um…” Leave it to Steve to make this instantly awkward. But, he recovers because while Steve may look deadly, his personality doesn’t really allow for the facade of deadly killer to remain in place for long. James on the other hand, his whole being suggest that he is vicious and will not hesitate to turn to violence. “My intentions are good. All I want for her to be happy.”

“Good.” James says. His voice is very cool, but it’s not the Soldier. I can see him using this voice on a boy before he fell, maybe when he had sisters. “Darcy is my blood she cares for me and I care about her. If you were to hurt her I would be very upset. You saw enough in Hydra to know you wouldn’t like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the chapter please feel free to comment of ask a question you might get an answer.


	20. The Shades of Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve takes a different cluster. This is dimmer there is gray film on it. “Why is this one dim?”  
> “He doesn’t remember that.” They both say together.   
> “Do you remember meeting me?” Darcy ask.  
> The brain lights up brighter, like the sun. “I do.”   
> Darcy take the bright honey sphere smiling. “This is…Wow.”  
> “Do you remember the day I moved in with you?” Steve asks.  
> There is a trail of amber-ish light that leads to a dim ball of light. “This is the memory.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shout out to my wonderful co-author this wouldn't be half as good without her.

_“Bucky, wake up!”_

_I open my eyes to see a familiar face. “Darcy?” This can’t be Darcy. She looks like Darcy, but her eyes are different and she is much younger, a child._

_The girl tilts her head. “Who’s Darcy? I’m Becky, your sister.”_

_She takes my hand, leading me from the small bedroom into a well-lit living room. Sunlight pours in through the open windows. I walk toward the glass and look out at the bustling city. It’s different, too. All the tall buildings are gone. I remember this city._

_I turn, walking to the kitchen where five people sit at a rickety table. One of them, a girl of about ten years old, turns to ask the woman at the stove a question. “Mama, what’s wrong with Bucky?”_

_Staying near the entrance, I look at the scene before me. It, like the rest of the apartment, has a familiar sense to it but I can’t pin down the memory. The woman turns, setting a bowl of oatmeal on the table. A man holding the newspaper is looking over at me. The little girls are also staring at me, both of them in matching dress with their hair in braids. Two of them have blonde hair like the woman at the stove, while the dark haired girl resembles the man._

_The blonde girl on the left tilts her head. “Ma, is Bucky sick?”_

_The mother looks me over. I do the same, my arms are smaller with less muscle than I should have with the kind of training I have and the metal arm is gone. In its place is the flesh arm I was born with. My chest is bare, no scars just skin. “No, Helen he’s fine.”_

_I sit at the table next to Becky and she smiles up at me. “Is Bucky going to walk us school today?”_

_The Father and Mother both say. “Yes.”_

_The mother goes on talking. “Come hell or high water, you are going to graduate high school young man.”_

 “Bucky?”

Looking down at the sleeping woman on my shoulder, I shake my head. “I’m awake.”

“Where do you go?” Steve asks, his voice full of worry. “You get that look and your eyes glaze over. Where do you go?”

“Sometimes it’s back before missions started or training or…” Or the faces of people that I killed.

The man, who is and is not our prisoner, looks down.

“How often does this happen?”

“It is unpredictable,but mostly when I sleep or if I see something  familiar.”

Tanner thinks on it and I recognized the look in his eye. He was scientist, like Stark and Jane, and even Darcy. They want to know everything.

“Have you ever had a brain scan?”

“No.” Banner had tried to give me one before I over reacted punching the machine with my cybernetic arm

He nods, looking out the window as the city lights comes into view. “Why do you think he needs a brain scan?” Steve asks.

Tanner turns to me, looking into my eyes. “The mind isn’t some chalkboard that can be wiped clean…” He pauses trying put it in simple terms. “It’s more like a river. You can dam it, but the river is still there, and it pushes against the wall constantly.”

“How do I remember then?”

He sighs. “I haven’t been a doctor for years, but if I had to guess I would say that certain traumatic events have led to the oldest of these dams failing. This is creating momentum, causing the memories to crash through other stronger dams like a tidal wave.”

Darcy stirs on my shoulder. “We there yet?”

“Almost.” I say wrapping my arm around her.

 

Steve asks the question that both of them are wanting to ask. “What did you remember?”

If it wasn’t Steve I wouldn’t answer. “A woman, I think it was my mother, said come hell or high water I would graduate high school. My sisters were there too and a man I think was my father.”

“You were always skipping school to do odd jobs but you did graduate with me.” He smiles. “Both our mothers were proud of us.”

Darcy sits up. “I think all mothers are proud when their children finish school.”

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“Doctor Tanner.” Bruce says shaking his hand firmly

“Uh…Call me Jay, I haven’t been a doctor in years.”

Bruce nods, pulling a small metal box out of his lab coat. “Since things didn’t go well the last time I got these from Pepper.”

“Little metal balls.” Steve asks.

Darcy’s eyes get very wide. “These are…where did Pepper them?”

“Aldrich Killian, he left them with Pepper and she kept them,” Bruce take a small chip holding it out to me. “This will map the inside of your brain and project it so we can see it, just put it behind your ear.”

Taking the small chip I look at Darcy, she smiles. “You’ll be fine.”

“I am very confused. How is this a brain scan?”

Bruce drops the metal spheres on a lab table. “Wait for it.”

The light dims, then explodes into a blast of color. “What the hell?”

“This is your brain.” Bruce says as the colors settle into shades of pink and gold.”

“This is amazing,” Tanner says reaching into the picture touching part of my brain. It enlarges. “This is your cortex. There is repeated scarring from the neuronal wipes but…”

“But there is also signs of rapid repair on the neuron groups.” Bruce says turning to me.

“Am I meant to understand this?”

They both shake their heads sheepishly, but Tanner is the one who talks.

“Remember how I told you your memories are dammed up in your mind?” He takes a small cluster the color of honey. “This is a long-term memory. They are not stored in just one part of the brain,” He gestures to the other clusters in the brain. “But are widely distributed throughout the cortex.”

Steve takes a different cluster. This is dimmer there is gray film on it. “Why is this one dim?”

“He doesn’t remember that.” They both say together.

“Do you remember meeting me?” Darcy ask.

The brain lights up brighter, like the sun. “I do.”

Darcy take the bright honey sphere smiling. “This is…Wow.”

“Do you remember the day I moved in with you?” Steve asks.

There is a trail of amber-ish light that leads to a dim ball of light. “This is the memory.”

“What is going on in here?” Natasha says as she enters the room.

“Natasha.” This time the light trails divert, some go to  bright memories while other travel to the dimmer balls.

“What is this? Who’s he?”

Tanner turns away from my brain a little unwillingly to hold out his hand. “Jay, call me Jay.”

“Okay, and that?” She nods to the hologram, ignoring his hand.

He points to me. “His brain.”

“Vy ponimayete chto-nibud', chto proiskhodit?” Natasha asks me in Russian.

“Whoa.” Darcy says as the left side of my brain lights up in a bright glittering gold, while the other memories, likely the ones where I learned Russian, are cloaked in the grayness.

“YA nemnogo ponimayu.”

“You can take the chip out now.” Bruce says.

Darcy takes it from behind my ear and puts it behind her own ear. “This is so cool.”

I watch as her brain fills the room, it look like mine except most of her clusters are bright. “Why does she have dim clusters?”

Jay rubs his beard. “Do you remember your first birthday?”

“Not really.” She says it as a trail of light leads to a dim memory. “I remember my fourth birthday.” The trail snakes to a bright sphere like mine had, but she doesn’t have the same honey colored memories as I do, they’re purple. Some shine bright like an amethyst while others, the ones she doesn’t remember, are a deep plum color.

“What are they?” Steve asks.

“My best guess would be that they are early childhood memories.” Tanner says and I see the question in his eyes. “Do you remember our first meeting?”

Darcy smiles as her light trail weaves to a deep plum colored memory. “A part of me does.”

She takes the metal piece from behind her ear and holds it out to Banner.

“I don’t think so,” He says warily.

“Come on, I want to see your color.”

“Fine.” He says, putting on his own ear the image is fuzzy at first but it does clear up to reveala surprise. My memories are honey-brown, Darcy’s are in shades of purple. His memories, however, have two very different colors. One is a turquoise blue and the other is emerald green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coment, question, opinions, if you have one say something.


	21. No Place Like Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all sit back down and start eating its good food. I even have a glass of wine while Jay is drinking too much trying in vain to calm himself. Reaching over I put my hand over his class. “You’re cut off.”  
> “Yes, ma’am.” He’s still sober enough to not argue with me that wouldn’t end well for him.  
> Thor breaks the silence. “So, tell us, Sir Jay, how many men have you killed in combat?”  
> “Thor, really, this is not an appropriate dinner conversation.” I hiss at the thunder god.  
> Natasha agrees with him. “I think it’s a good question.”  
> No one asked you I tell her in my mind and with my eyes. “You don’t have to answer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.  
> Empress speaking: I got sidetracked with real life while editing this chapter, so the lateness is entirely my fault. The unedited chapter was ready in early July thanks to ENC95. If you read this chapter yesterday, it has now been edited for clarity. There aren't any significant changes, though.

“Ohh…” I say as I collapse on my bed. While traveling with Steve wasn’t so bad, there was just something about being home in my bed. “Mmmm.”I snuggle deeper into the pillows. “Ahhh.”

“Miss Lewis, are you feeling well?”

“I’m fine, Jarvis. Just happy to be back.”

“Very well, there will be a communal dinner tonight.”

I nod. “That should be fun.”

“Indeed. However, Mr. Tanner was quite worried about the affair.”

He’d be crazy if he wasn’t. Tony had given him a room on Steve’s floor where Steve could watch him. James was in his room asleep. At least I hope he’s sleeping. The last few days were rough on all of us. I doubt that he slept much last night or on the train here.

Reaching down, I pick up the box of letters from the floor. I find the one marked ‘ _To Darcy on her 13th Birthday’._

_Dear Darcy,_

_Today you are 13 and I know that you’re a beautiful young woman. Also I know that these will be hard for you. Being a teenager is never easy, but in your case it will likely be harder. By now you might have noticed that you are a bit better than most people both academically and physically. It’s not enough for Them to notice. I’m sure there are people that are stronger than and smarter than you. Still you are special because there is only one of you in a world of 6 billion people._

_Also, you are now at the age where boys will be vying for your affections. As a male myself, I will tell you that boys can be tricky. They will tell you that they love you even if they don’t mean it. If a boy tells you that he loves you and you say it back, look at his eyes, the pupils will get smaller if he is telling the truth. If you should find that you are attracted to members of the female sex the same rule will apply to them as well._

_Now onto sex, I won’t tell you to wait for the one. I will tell you that sex like everything else in life is a choice. You chose who, how, and when you do it. But, if and when you do have sex I beg you to use protection. Having a child is great, but having a kid when you still are a kid yourself is difficult._

_These next few years will be full of change for you.  You will change in your thoughts and actions, on purpose or subconsciously. This is the time of your life where you define who you will be as a person. Good or bad? Right or wrong? The choice isn’t necessarily permanent, I chose to go down a dark path. You changed that. Now I’m trying to be good, even though I’m probably not succeeding._

_One day you might read this. If that happens, then you’ll know exactly how you came into this world. You will also know whose DNA you are made from. He has been forced to do horrible things, more horrible than even I know of.  You might feel that you are bad because of the shared genes you have with someone who has done such terrible things. You aren’t bad and neither is he. You are both simply people who have been adversely affected by a vicious organization that salts and burns anything and any_ one _in its way._

_Be wary of snakes._

**_MT_ **

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“You look nervous.” I say meeting Jay in the hall for dinner.

He is sweating visible drops on his forehead. “I haven’t been around people who wanted me dead in a long time.”

“They don’t want you dead,” I reassure him

They all stare as we enter the room. Jane has her death glare trained on him, while Thor and Steve’s tense postures speak for themselves. James is just sitting there, watching. Tony, who normally has no expression beyond cooler-than-you nonchalance, is staring at him. I’ve no doubt that Tony is contemplating very detailed ways to murder Jay. Pepper’s eyes are glowing as are Banner’s. Natasha is causally playing with a knife, but that’s not all that different from her usual behavior.

“You’re sure about that?”

“There have been worse dinners here with far worse guests,” I say, leading him to a chair. He’ll be sitting next to me on my right. James is on my left, Steve is across from me with Natasha at his side. She’s been staying close to him all day.

We all sit back down and start eating. Jay is drinking too much, trying in vain to calm himself. Reaching over, I put my hand over his glass. “You’re cut off.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He’s still sober enough to not argue with me, that wouldn’t end well for him.

Thor breaks the silence. “So, tell us, Sir Jay, how many men have you killed in combat?”

“Thor, really, this is not appropriate dinner conversation.” I hiss at the thunder god.

Natasha agrees with him. “I think it’s a good question.”

_No one asked you, I think_. I don’t say it, though. I don’t want to die.

“You don’t have to answer, Jay.”

“None.” He says, looking at the god. “How many have you killed?”

At first, Thor’s face is impressed, then it grows serious. “Enough to be good at it.”

“Okay, great dinner.” I say, standing and pulling Jay to his feet. “Steve, get him out of here.”

Steve leads him away from the table while I take my rage out on Thor and the idiot heroes at this table. “You people are being very hypocritical.” I tell them storming out of the room.

I’m not sure how I got to the training room but I got there just the same. My rage boiling, I hit the canvas bag. They were being mean for no reason. Hitting the bag again, I yell, making the bag rattle on its chain. People would marvel at my strength if they saw me like this, for such a little thing I pack a punch.

James enters the room. “Haven’t you listened to anything I told you?”

“If you’re trying to be funny,” I say, between punches. “It’s not working.”

He holds the bag. “Breathe, Darcy, assess the threat.”

“There is no threat.” I inhale deeply anyway. It doesn’t help. . “Jay is the least dangerous person here. Right now, I could take him. Beat him down, kill him if I wanted to.”

“You could. We all could.”

“He was supposed to kill me but he didn’t. I’m alive because of him and everyone here is ready to crucify him for some imagined slight.”

It sounds wrong to even think it, but really the only person here who could even be a real threat is James. His mind is still frail, he could slip into the Soldier and those silver fingers could be around my throat again. I hate myself for thinking it, but that would happen a long time before Jay would ever lay a hand on me.

 Striking the punching bag, I nod.

“Did you ever see the wizard of OZ?”

“I think so.”

Stopping, I look at James. “You remember the part where Dorothy opened the door and her world had been gray till then. And then suddenly it was full of color?

“I think people are kinda like that. We all see the world one way, one color, then someone comes into your life, changing your perspective.”

“I don’t trust him.”

That makes me laugh. “I don’t expect you to. In fact, sometimes I wonder if you trust anyone.”

He nods. “You and Steve.”

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

That night I have a dream. I know I’m dreaming because it starts out in a place I can’t possibly remember. It’s the Hydra lab where I was born, complete with creepy test tubes and a Hydra insignia on the wall. I see the little baby me on a table crying. Reaching out to touch the little me, I take my own hand. “Don’t worry, we’ll be okay. Eventually.”

The door opens on the far side of the lab. I put myself between the intruders and baby me, ready to face whoever is coming. There is a bright flash of light and I’m not in the Hydra lab anymore. I’m in my old room in Willowdale, the baby me is gone, replaced by a six year old me.

The six year old me is playing with a stuffed lion, an old scarecrow doll I made, a ken doll covered in tin foil and a Barbie doll whose hair has been painted red. Little me is humming we’re off to the wizard as I walk the figures down a long piece of yellow paper.

 Bending down, I look at the younger me. “Hi.”

“Hi.” The little me says. “Why are you here?”

I shrugs. “I don’t know where I am?”

“This is my home. Do you want to play?”

Picking up the stuffed lion, I get blinded again.

“Darcy?”

I look to my left. This me is older, closer to my current age. The almost me looks at Jane, who doesn’t seem to able to see me. “Where’s the data from last night?”

The adult me looks at Jane, then at me. “Am I asleep?”

“Sort of, I guess. Where are we?”

The adult me gestures around the large room. “New Mexico, home sweet home.”

“One of us needs to wake up now.”

“Then wake up!”

Waking up, I look around my room, the posters and various pictures are on the wall along with the drawings Steve’s done for me. My clothes from today are on the floor, a pile of rumpled denim, worn cotton, and socks. The box of letters is on table beside me.

“There’s no place like home.”


	22. Captured By Hydra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “More like my grandparents.” I say winking at Jay.  
> Steve laughs and James even lets out a small chuckle. “Watch it, kid.”  
> They move to the door while I move to give Jay a hug. “Be careful, sweetheart,” He whispers in my ear.  
> Two blocks later, I notice two people walking past us carrying their purse and briefcase a little more firmly than normal.   
> “Do they know who I am?” James looks anxious, glancing up at the skyscrapers for possible snipers.  
> I scoff lightly. “No, they think you’re a pickpocket.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off all the Empress, who in addition to being the co-author edits this story making it so much easier to read.

The next two weeks fly by, with me either training, working or talking with Jay. I learn a lot about Jay and what drives him. How his Father ran out on him when he was five, then Mother was killed by a drunk driver when he was thirteen, and he was sent to live with his grandmother. That his decision to join Hydra was based on promise of a world at peace. It’s the same lie that other radical terrorists use to find young, impressionable people. They suck them in, telling them that they can help save the world if they only do what they’re told. Then once they have you, it’s almost impossible to get out.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” I ask Jay as I pull on my jacket. October weather is settling in.

He looks up from a thick medical textbook. Jay was working with Bruce on a treatment plan for James.

“No, no, go have fun.”

I sigh. I know why he doesn’t want to leave. It’s a good reason to be fair, the same reason James didn’t want to leave in the beginning. This is the one place in the whole wide world where Hydra can’t get to them. Jay and James were similar in that respect, that they would rather stay far, far away from Hydra, at least until more is known about just how far they’ve infiltrated.

James was afraid that he would hurt other people after so long as the Soldier. Shoot first, ask questions later was still his default lesson. The fact that it had saved his life more than once since the helicarriers crashed didn’t help to break him of it. Going out and being around normal people was helping him to realize that not everyone was a threat. Jay, however, was still afraid of people that he didn’t know.

“I know, but I feel more comfortable here,” Jay says as he looks out over the skyline.

“You know you can’t live in fear all the time.”

“Sometimes fear keeps you alive.” He returns sharply.

I shake my head, I wasn’t going to win this time. “Do you want us to bring something?”

 “No, I’m good. Go have fun with your brothers.” Steve and James enter the room.

“More like my grandparents.” I say winking at Jay.

Steve laughs and James even lets out a small chuckle. “Watch it, kid.”

They move to the door while I move to give Jay a hug. “Be careful, sweetheart,” He whispers in my ear.

Two blocks later, I notice two people walking past us carrying their purse and briefcase a little more firmly than normal.

“Do they know who I am?” James looks anxious, glancing up at the skyscrapers for possible snipers.

I scoff lightly. “No, they think you’re a pickpocket.”

Taking one look at both of them, I realize that if I didn’t know them I would be cautious, too. Steve is wearing more casual khakis and plaid shirt, James is wearing more dark colors, which is fine, but the black leather glove on his left hand is a little suspicious. “The sunglass and baseball caps do seem to be a bit much. I say. “If you two want to blend in try to not to look like you’re up to something.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Steve asks.

I stop walking, turning to face him and ignoring the looks I get from the people who were walking behind me. “You both look fine, but lose the sunglasses both of you. Steve you can keep the cap, James you’ll be fine without all that stuff. Hand it over.”

He takes them off. “Won’t they notice me?”

“This is New York city, so not really.” I say putting the glasses in my jacket pocket. “Steve, yeah because he’s Steve, but you’re most known for your arm and jumping on top of cars and freeways. If no one sees your arm and you don’t go jaywalking, then you should be fine.”

We continue walking till we reach our destination, a small hole in wall pizzeria where the slices are big enough to satisfy the genetically enhanced appetites of my companions.

The waiter comes over. “Hi, what can I get you?”

“Lemonade, please.” Steve says.

“Ice tea.”

“Water.”

He writes it all down. “Alright I’ll bring them right out.”

Trying to defuse the tension in James, I lightly elbow him in the ribs. “I’m so happy we could do this.” I’m sitting close to the wall while James is next to me and Steve is across from him so that they both have a clear view of the exits. The two of them blocking me in case of attack.

The teenage waiter comes back with our drinks. “Lemonade.”

He hands it over to Steve. “Thanks.”

“Water.” He give James his water and I notice that the boy’s hand shakes.

“And, your iced tea.” He smiles at me. “I put in extra ice.”

I smile at his meekness. “Thank you.”

Steve smiles as the boy hurries away. “Yeah, you too are related.”

“Really, ‘cause I heard that you were player!” I sing out, causing both of them to smile.

James is smiling which is good. He looks a bit confused, though. “What instrument did I play and why did the woman like it?” He asks.

I choke on my drink. “He means you had many girlfriends.”

Steve does add. “Well, you could play the piano before, too.”

Our waiter comes back. “Are you ready to order?”

He’s blushing I smile at him. “We’re.” I look at his name tag. “Kyle.”

“Umm…What can I g…get you?”

“We’ll have super-size without the anchovies.”

“It _is_ nice to be out of the tower.” James offers. I know that he doesn’t like being watched neither do I.

Taking a sip of my iced tea, I nod. “It is.”

 “Have you hear from your Mom?” Steve asks, not so subtly changing the subject.

“Yeah, Hawkeye is great, the kids love him. It’s easy to tell why he makes such a good father.”

Steve smiles looking into his drink. “Wait he has kids?”

“Yeah.”

“So did he and Natasha ever?”

Now it’s Steve’s turn to laugh. “No, Barton saved her he was her mentor. More like a brother than a lover.”

“Aw, I feel so bad for him staying in Virginia all this time.”

“Right about that.” The question is in his eyes.

“You want him to leave?”

“Yeah,” He feels bad because he asking me to, in his eyes, endanger my family. “It’s just, nothing is happening. Tony is monitoring all known Hydra feeds but there’s nothing about them or you.”

I take Steve’s hand. “Tell Clint he go see his family. There’s nothing more important than family.” I tell him. More like order him, actually, but whatever works.

“Good.”

“Now, I am going to run the little clone’s room before the food get here.”

A hand reaches out to grab me before I make it the door I turn ready to taser the person but I see it’s the nervous waiter. “Kyle.”

His hands are up. “Yeah. Um…You have a taser.”

I smile. “This is New York.”

He nods. “You boyfriend doesn’t protect you?”

Snickering, I shake my head. “Nice the casual mention of a boyfriend while you have got me cornered.”

Again, he smiles. “Thanks I like your taser may I?”

I hold it out. “It was a gift from my ex-boyfriend.”

He takes the weapon, smiling. This smile is different it’s not an embarrassed or nerdy smile no this is a predator’s smile. “You don’t have much training do you.”

“Shit,” I make a move to kick him. He blocks me, taking my foot and twisting it till I’m on the ground. He’s on top of me, his hand on my mouth. This, I remember from my childhood. I bite his hand as hard as I can.

“Bitch.”

“Ja…”

That’s when he uses my own taser to knock me out.

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**Jay**

I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. I heard the door opening of course, but I thought it was Steve or Darcy. They make noise walking. Too late, I remember that  James doesn’t. I look up to greet him when a heavy metal hand wraps around my neck and pins me to the wall. Before I can even speak there is a gun barrel on my right temple. This isn’t James, I realize. This is the Soldier.

“WHERE IS SHE?”

“Bucky stop.”

His hand whirs and gets even tighter as he looks at Steve. I try to get the hand off of my neck but both of my hands are no match for his metal arm.

“HE KNOWS SOMETHING!”

“Bucky, he can’t breathe, look at him!”

The grip loosens and I take the opportunity to ask the obvious question. “What happened?” Looking around, I see that the one person who would be on my side is gone. “Where’s Darcy?”

The grip tightens again and he picks me up and throws me to the ground. “HYDRA HAS HER!”

My heart stops. “You _let_ her get captured?”

“Bucky, let him go! If he did have a part in this then he has information! If you kill him now, we could lose our only chance at finding her.” Now that would sound great, but the fire in his eye speaks more to his rage then his compassion for me.

“I don’t know anything.”

James releases me. “If I find out your lying I will throw you off this tower.”

“Okay.” He won’t have to. Most of my life I’ve lived in fear, not that I would die, but that people around would die due to me.

I did that my father left us when I was five. After that, I was always causing trouble. If wasn’t for me, my mother wouldn’t have been driving to the police station and gotten hit by a drunk driver because I got caught spray painting abandoned buildings again. If my grandmother wasn’t worried about me all the time she probably wouldn’t have had a heart attack. All my life I’ve pushed people away, mostly women because I know I’ll get them killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, question, concerns, write me a note and i get back to you.
> 
> Hey since you all like this story please check this original work that wrote for a contest here's the link   
> http://www.inkitt.com/stories/20399

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a prompt and need a writer send me a here message or on tumblr I am http://thefandomofmadness.tumblr.com/


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